My depression has gotten drastically worse the last week or so - today it dropped pretty deep, I was having all kinds of really dark intrusive thoughts and images - I just wanted the pain to stop. When I talked to my doctor last time I asked her that if my depression deepens, what should I do - she told me to increase the Lamictal a bit more.
Last time I was on a bigger dose of Lamictal it made me a bit tense and hypomanic - I would have spurts of acting silly and just plain old hypomanic - right now I cannot tolerate this dark depression, today I was having serious urges to doing something very stupid. Starting tomorrow I will start increasing my Lamictal dose by a little bit and go up slowly.
I will take hypomania and an increase in my anxiety a bit - over deep dark and torturous depression - I am choosing the lesser of the 2 evils
I am rooting for you in this war. I’m glad you have a doc who has some idea an was able to give you a plan A.
It’s not easy and I would hate to have to make that choice again, but I’d take some voices and hallucinations over rust brown emptiness and depression any day.
Neither is ideal, but your right, it’s the lesser of two evils. I’m rooting for you to feel better and level out very soon.
i hope you get better. its hard, them nuerotrasmitters werent designed for this
Hey @Wave! I hope your meds can help you tomorrow. Getting them right can be such a chore. I know I went through my own trials getting my meds right.
hi wave just remember it WILL go away again, im depressed at the moment too its the illness and it means you don’t think clearly aswell at times I have felt like wandering into the traffic. then it just goes away again.
I am sorry you are going through a rough time.
From a behavioral point of view, maybe you could do some brain exercise games online. It might build your confidence that you are accomplishing something and it will distract you when your medicine kicks in.
Has your Dr mentioned ECT? I’ve heard of one or two people who were depression-free after one treatment.
I think ECT is considered a dead-last result. My father had it in the old country, and it totally messed him up. No short-term memory, and his depression came back anyway.
i am sending you as much good energy as i can muster.
take care
I know how dreadful depression can be. You are right , anxiety is less evil than a dark depression.
You have a severe case of schizoaffective , Wave. hope an increase of Lamical would take effect on your body soon.
Probably you should explore some food supplement for lightening the depression. I guess a big dose of fish oil, lecithin or Vitamin B complex might help stabilize your mood.
Maybe you could work with the pdoc to find a medication that suits you better. It’s been my experience that they’ll work with you if you are hurting.
No its no longer schizoaffective @green6 the current flavor - dx is bipolar disorder - I guess it doesnt matter what you call it - depression has always been part of the picture for me - I do take prescription fish oil and I am eating healthier - I guess I will have to increase the Lamictal a bit starting today - I cant take much of those deep drops of depression the last big drop, I had messed up thoughts of stopping the pain that I was in by any means - not a good scenario
I cannot take antidepressants - they make me psychotic and manic/mixed - I am taking Lamictal and handling it ok, because its not a true antidepressant, its a mood stabilizer/anticonvulsant that has strong antidepressant properties
I feel like I’m in a pit myself, but I swear that if God hovered over me in that pit and didn’t see me struggling to get out…that if I didn’t stop that wallow and grab a root structure in the walls of that pit he wouldn’t notice me one bit. I never got that rope ladder out of hopelessness, I vowed to climb out of that pit and whoever saw may help or may not. Crawling cave man is what I am…
and if I can’t stand it…damn skippy I’ll crawl it! Don’t give up man! I takes a lot of integrity for you to open up on how you feel. I listen to a lot of self help audio and stuff. I dunno what may help you but I’ll let you in on a secret:
Not outta the pit yet buddy.
I am so sorry you are so down. I have dealt with situational depression for a long time before where I couldn’t get out of bed all day. Led to thinking about and doing things I shouldn’t. (attempts at my life). Please don’t do anything harmful to yourself. It will get better. Keep working on the med balance !
I’m in the same place. No one knows how down I am. I just want to end it all. I will increase my zyprexia.
I really adore the tomb art piece you have made!
This is an old thread that has been dug up, I am currently not feeling this low