I have mixed feelings about this new year :(

DX'd - Other
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bc i dont know whats going to happen but i am worried about 2019 :frowning:

worried about my friend :disappointed_relieved:and my mums dog,

i feel depressed

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Me too. Iā€™m worried Iā€™m going to relapse.

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sorry cici, i hope you donā€™t relapse

iā€™m trying to stay positive about it but its not working,

i feel like a complete failure :frowning:

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Youā€™re not a complete failure. Maybe you can try positive affirmations? Iā€™m trying to do them now to see if my worries go away.

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thanks cici, its just i keep trying but i never get anywhere,

I dont have a job, dont have a gf, cant watch the tv and i just struggle,

trying to stay positive, got to stay positive lol

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letā€™s think about how you can get a job and a girlfriend

Iā€™ve done lots of Temp jobs

they would text me in the morning, and then I decide
how my day is shaping up, and whether I take the dayā€™s work or not

I met Phil on Plenty of Fish, but have done online dating for years

there is also No Longer Lonely that I believe is still up and running

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I donā€™t think youā€™re a complete failure. If youā€™re anything like me, you let the negative thinking spiral out of control until it becomes something worse than it really is. At least thatā€™s how i am. Try not to worry so much. It doesnā€™t help anything. I know itā€™s hard to stay positive. Just take things one day at a time. Youā€™ll be alright.

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thanks, i try my best but i feel like iā€™m hitting my head off of a brick wall most of the time,

i do loads of stuff but its never good enough, even when iā€™m overwhelmed its still never enough

not sure what that means, i sometimes think i am manic but maybe not as bad as that, certainly on a high but with lows as well.

feeling like a hypocrite now but my mood gets real low, feeling a bit better now, positive affirmations are great too and i do try this but some times the mood takes over.

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Youā€™re not a hypocrite, youā€™re just dealing with a really difficult situation like the rest of us. And youā€™re getting through it. Glad youā€™re feeling a little better now. Keep doing those affirmations and donā€™t give up.

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its best when the affirmations become like second nature and its automatic, it happens with me some times and it is extremely helpful at the time, here is an example of some that i useā€¦

  • I can do this
  • its not that hard
  • iā€™ll try it anyway
  • that doesnt make sense
  • why would they?
  • Iā€™m not that important

i cant write them all down bc sometimes it depends on the situation, i try and have an affirmation in response to challenging things or decisions, backwards thinking, its a great tool to develop in your arsenal to help yourself in recovery,

there are things you can do to help yourself like writing things down that are bothering you and try and think of an answer that can help it, the idea is that you start thinking of solutions instead of wallowing within the problem(s)

idk if i therapist could help with this or what but i think it should be taught more, coping techniques and strategies should be mainstream but i had to learn on my own.

but as i said sometime my mood takes over and before i know it i am in a bad place,

what i did to cope has been coming on here, and my friend got me out and it helped talking to some friends, i wasnt going to go but the affirmation ā€˜why not? it may helpā€™ came to mind and that convinced me to go lol.

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Glad it works for somebody

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It worked for me too.
I had a good one night stand.

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Well good for u if thatā€™s what you were looking for lol.

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Yes it was. Thanks @Jonnybegood!

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Not sure the last time a ā€œreal girlā€ has even responded to me on those sites!!! Not sure what I can do different. Tried every possible technique I can think of. Rarely get even a profile VIEW. Only reason Iā€™m still on is so I can say that at least Iā€™m trying, and for laughs and to stare at chicks profile pictures and stuff

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Yea sometimes I go on there to see if someone has written me a message. But Iā€™m not really actually using it for much anymore.

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Wish I could give advice or opinion but Iā€™m in no place to give advice or opinion in this department lol. It can be quite fun to be on there though isnā€™t it

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Hi Daydreamer, I hope this yearā€™s a good one for you.
I personally find talking to myself sometimes helps, like positive and constructive self talk.

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I just feel I look sz possibly.

And people judge me for that.

Or maybe cuz Iā€™m short, and some girls online seem really shallow they would see my height and immediately say no.

Or maybe Iā€™m just real ugly and stuff. Iā€™m not really sure Its hard for me to judge menā€™s looks at all.

But there is definitely something wrong with me, something that I donā€™t believe SHOULD be a dealbreaker but it probably is.

Iā€™m just not sure, Iā€™m just a ghost no one will even chat with me at all just to get to know each other.

Actually now that I think of it, ā€œno occupationā€ is a big deal breaker for a lot of these girls.

When u say ur a writer they think ur a bum. Maybe I am but at least Iā€™m trying.

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Some people are more physically visual and place more importance on that than others I guess, but I donā€™t know.
Hopefully thereā€™s enough fish in the sea that thereā€™s someone for you longer term. I donā€™t see why not.