Should I really need to try and rid myself of it?
During my first psychotic episode, I met my future husband through psychosis.
I think when I die, I will be reunited with him.
I won’t tell you his name
But he is not someone who is physically alive anymore.
Should we really be trying to remove all our unusual beliefs?
Please help lol.
Explain what you mean by “met my future husband through psychosis”. How did this person die? Did you actually know them in real life?
They were never physically alive in my entire life.
They died a long time ago.
I wrote off my psychotic experience. It was just some frustration and erotomania and it really didn’t mean anything.
Later on meds I got into a decent relationship and found the wonderful world of being semi normal. Did that for a while but don’t buy into something you think while your psychotic. It’s like chasing rainbows…you never find the end and the pot of gold!
The experience was psychotic basically.
So he was a voice in my head.
I had several experiences with him some visual hallucination some tactile too, not just auditory.
I can’t tell you how he died or else I will get suspended. But to put it another way, he was murdered.
Also he went into other people’s bodies.
I don’t know if the correct word is ‘possession.’
Including into my ex.
I know you’ve been feeling a little unwell recently and I don’t want to make you feel paranoid, this person is not you.
You are still alive 
Who am I to tell you that you are wrong. All I will say is that our imagination is a powerful thing. I’ve imagined some crazy stuff myself. You should know though that love is something that happens in the present. It isn’t found in the future or the past. It isn’t just our idea of someone or a voice in our head, although it is good that you love yourself lol. It would be tragic if you missed out on love because you were convinced of a delusion or fell in love with an idea in your mind. All delusion leads to suffering. Always. It may feel better temporarily to believe in something that makes us feel good, but it will rob us of true joy if we are out of accord with reality. Be here and now and with reality as best as you can. That’s all you can do.
Thanks
The thing is though that I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship in this physical life anyway so for me it is okay.
Why not? What are you afraid of?
I actually don’t know how to put it in words right now.
I will think it through, logically, and get back to this thread.
I dearly hope it won’t be locked up by then 
Basically romantic love is precious, we all know that
I can’t cope with the fact that something may go wrong, it is too unbearable
I just can’t accept it and enjoy the relationship at the same time
It is the same reason I don’t go on planes.
Although yes I’d love to travel, the idea that the plane may crash, is out of my hands.
I treasure my life too much to risk going on a plane, even if the chances of a crash are seemingly low, incredibly low. I’d rather enjoy other simplicities in my home country 
Does it affect your life negatively? If not then no harm done really.
Everyone believes something weird. 
So you’re so afraid of dying that you don’t want to live?
@Zoe . It can be hit or miss but hooking up with a therapist may help you. You seem stable enough on the meds but your choices and thinkng may be lacking. I think you’ve a lot to gain by talking with a professional about things. It may give you some clarity with your love life because I think you put too much pressure on yourself over these things…
To me voices aren’t real and just a product from your own brain.
It is possible to live this physical life and enjoy it without a romantic relationship. For me personally.
Likewise it is possible to live life without travelling somewhere super exotic.
It is not just the dying but how you die aswell, so scary. Imagine nose dive into an ocean, stuck in a plane, drowning.
You know, I just don’t know how to enjoy romance. I don’t know how. Yea maybe I should give therapy a 4th go like @rogueone says…
For many people romance is second nature, but to me it is like rocket science. I have no clue how to navigate it and understand it and most importantly… Enjoy it.
I get too many negative intrusive thoughts… And they interrupt the joy of romance.
Haha yea we are all weirdos at heart
I won’t give my opinion to that as I’ll get suspended
But thanks for your input
Trust. You never know how you’ll do with other people in a relationship because they are individuals apart from yourself. Still. There’s trust. You build that on actions and how you think about them. There’s usually danger signs if they stuff up but there’s you as well…
I think from what you put out there you have trust issues with a partner. Not a big thing. Most normal folk feel that and you don’t have to have a psychotic illness to feel it. So. Perhaps some decent therapy to get over your own feelings to move forward. Move into more positive feelings about relationships?
Worth a shot!