I had an interesting psychiatrist appointment today. I tried making it clear to him that Vraylar 9mg works for me and that’s pretty it for my psychosis. My old psychiatrist is out on extended leave and I had negative experiences with nurse practitioners that took his patients.
Anyways, this is the same place (new guy) I saw back in 2013 when the psychologist threatened to institutionalize me for smoking cigarettes and not quitting and then saying I was ‘manipulating him’ back in 2013, which is clearly a lie. Then I worry about what I tell this dude and him violating my rights and HIPPA laws because he sort of came off as an ass to me in therapy today – and thinking about my previous terrible experiences there. I might continue seeing him as he did give me 6mg of Vraylar but added 25 mg of Lamictal to it, which is okay I guess to me.
I guess I can sue and stuff if this place is out of control or gets in my face or does something stupid to me. So far, it’s okay. The next appointment is a video call 8 weeks from now so I don’t have to disclose what I don’t want to or not. The sad thing is I lost my insurance and get tired of these psychiatrists who just aren’t that great in our area and just not that good. It’s not my fault. He accused me of ‘doctor shopping’ which has been said to me before but I think that’s just the sad state of affairs in psychiatry to get a good doctor and find the right meds, especially when my situation is complicated ‘being med resistant’ and all. I have schizo-effective disorder – depressive type in my opinion (maybe bipolar type according to this new guy).
I don’t feel I’m being watched or in danger in anyway at all anymore.
I used to think I saw black helicopters in the area and alien craft and stuff and all that hocus pocus nonsense but maybe I just accepted it and moved on and healed a bit. I think I was put in mk-ultra and or witnessed an alien abduction of myself in college back in 2011. If it was aliens, it was pretty brutal, evil, terrible, and scary like monarch programming or montauk project, but whatever. I’ve accepted it. Never figured out why accept something I may have been blamed for or did.
Previously, I had delusions or thoughts I was John Titor (but I’m 99.999% sure I’m not anymore); Satoshi Nakamato (Bitcoin inventor was my newest delusion)(Feels like a past life/parallel universe type thing); and a few other clones or people.
I think that’s it. I’m largely being ignored and stuff but that’s okay. I like that. I had dreams of alien abductions or Men In Black visiting me and telling me stuff in my dreams at night. A billion to one it’s not real at all.
Thank you for listening to me.