I saw an ill friend and I guess I am still very weak… Idk if its something to get desperate about. I tried to socialize, but in the end, it was too much pressure still… I got even physically bad…
I told my mother, that I felt bad after this friend, and she said that its because of me and that I upset her of being so fragile… Yeah… My mother says I kill her mentally too…
Did you hear from your parents comments like this when you were at your worst? Is it scary that I am still so weak socially?..
I am fed up of being accused by my mother, that I destroy her mentally… She cant understand that I am so fragile, she says she gets upset for me, that I am so weak… Idk what can I do. I try not to be hateful or angry, its the best I can do, but its not promising to see me so fragile like that. Ill continue trying, but its not like ive chosen to be like this…
Sounds like my father.I don’t have supportive mother anymore.
My mother has her problems too, I know this. I listen her a lot too. Ok, maybe I am deep in me still angry, jealous etc etc but my mother wants from me to get better now already… I cant see this now after 20 years of isolation… I repeat myself that our family loves us, but whatever… I cant be normal just like this now…
I almost feel guilty, that I have these somatic symptoms which are completely crazy… My mother makes me feel guilty to have them…
Why you should feel guilty?
Cause my mother says I already should be better with the others…
I think it’s minor problem,you shouldn’t tell her everything.When your time comes,you’ll be able to socialize with others.You are still young.
Ok… Yeah, I had this symptom to be very close to my mom since kid… I was telling her all my pains before… I was like this since kid, that’s why I still talk to her a lot.
I used to call my father often.When I speak about my problems he starts yelling and cursing,so I can’t stand it any more.I don’t intend to call him again soon.
It’s ok that you’re socially awkward. I am too. I like people though so I’m still willing to talk to them. If your mom holds that against you then don’t tell her about it anymore. Lots of people are socially awkward. You’re not alone. You don’t want her tearing you down on an issue you’re already so sensitive about. So don’t give her the ammunition to do that. Don’t bring that subject up with her.
People are not always ready to emphatises you @Anna1 so you have be to more stronger. İ know how you feel about and this is really awful things to have that when you want to some emphaty and you not get what you want. İ divorced from my wife just for that. She just can t handle it my infinite anxiety about my everyday problems. After i get divorced i got dull and all by myself. And i m getting learning to fight with all this problem by myself. And don t forget it. They are not real problems. They are just result of brain dysfunctions.people mostly get tired just because for this reason. Normal people just can t handle it our everyday problems because most of them just not real. Best wishes for you. Take care.
Should i accept now, that for some time, it will be quite tough still? I fight just since an year, you know…
Yes, oceanspray, thanks for the comment. I still live too much in my head i guess… With all my sick beliefs… Maybe i was in better shape 20 years ago lol… But i forget when was this more precisely lol… I wonder if so much isolation attributed for my worst state? Was somebody here hiding from the others as me in the past? With a bunch of physical symptoms when seeing the others? What an illness…
There nothing problem with your look @Anna1 normal people just dont think with that way. Normal people mostly getting tired about our anxiety about our look. Believe me. Today i met with my high school friends and my anxiety about my outlook just get crazy some people. İt was just so anormal. So i can understand you. But normal people just don t care about our look. They care about that how normal you are. So just be strong and don t care about your look. We are the patients of most tough disease of human history. Don t forget it.
Yes that’s true
Its not even true that my isolation made me ill… I was ill since kid… My mom is right on that 
…yes, a tough disease… Currently, i am just a bit scared from my psychosomatic symptoms. They are just painful…
No one with this illness that we have is weak, this illness is very hard to deal with, sometimes ago I was in a condition that when I was seeing another human pain, I would feel that I’m in pain,
Your mom doesn’t know how severe is this illness so forgive her,
Wish you and your friend health,
Ok, thank you aliali… 
Yes, my mother doesn’t understand it I find too… The docs knew more than her on it, they were a bigger support… My mom gets angry lately, I guess she is tired by all her problems. Yes, I forgive her, no problem…
Do you think aliali, that the meds can end up by helping with time? Maybe they are hard too…
I think feelings like that go with the territory of being sz. Try not to obsess on it. If these negative feelings your mother says you give her are something you can amend, then try to amend them. But don’t beat yourself up. If you can’t amend these feelings you give your mother then don’t dwell on them. I think us sz’s are champions at self guilt.
Can I hope that ill have an improvement in the future? Or you are doubtful pals?..
I just said no to my mom to go for some blood tests, I have my headaches now etc etc. They are not urgent.
In fact, I still prefer going out without my mother, idk why… She keeps talking outside and it becomes too much of an info for me… I am terrible, I know…
I was familiar with The meds I take now but they were not effective but then they started to work and a new combination saved me, I’m reconstructing my brain and mind by studying and reading serious books now, even if you have a low potential of learning then don’t hesitate, read and learn, but just serious books, not books that wastes times which unfortunately are many,
By reconstructing brain, meds can be reduced to lowest effective dose and then their side effects will not be a great problem anymore, time helps and praying makes heart strong and things changed,
You have a big heart,