I feel worthless. I have a husband and two kids. I work as hard as I can, but I do so little compared to my husband. I was supposed to go to the grocery store today, but I couldn’t even think through a list.
We did do life today. We went to Church, shopped, decorated with a tree and lights, and I made dinner. But I was supposed to go to the grocery store.
Now my husband went. I feel useless and a burden to my family. I can’t even do simple things. I’m tempted towards suicide.
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. This sounds like a busy and productive day to me.
You got a lot done today. You can’t be expected to do everything and do it perfectly. You have an illness that prevents many people from doing the things you do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Suicide would only hurt your family. You’re doing a good job. Don’t sweat it.
That’s a good point. It was productive. I just hate struggling so much with the grocery store.
You always come on here with a kind word for others, so here I am with a kind word for you. Marriage isn’t about keeping score and making sure everyone has an equal workload. Especially when someone is disabled. There will always be times when you can do more, and times when you can do less. As long as you still treat each other with love and respect, you have a good marriage. Your family must know you are tryin your best, and I bet you treat them just as wonderfully as you treat everyone else here.
Don’t get caught up in our performative culture. You’re a human being, not a human doing. Your value as a person is not tied to the things you accomplish.
no reason to feel that way
Phil doesn’t even want me going to grocery store or cooking
he won’t eat my casseroles
ever met a guy that didn’t like casseroles?
it’s all steak and potatoes to him.
More productive than mine! Please give yourself some credit @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter.
Thank you all for your kind words and right perspective. I’ll try to receive your words and believe them.
You did lots today! There are so many times i cant even do a quarter of what you did today. And you seem to be a real kind person on here as well. You are definitely worthy! Im quite sure your family loved you to just be there, and then also to join them to church, make the house cosy with christmas decorations, cooked for them, etc…they can be happy with such a wife/mum.
Let’s try some distraction. What did you make for dinner?
Man I had a rough day too.just know that it will be better. You’ve peplease that love you. And you have this form pk. Hugs
I mean t to say people.
I just heated up frozen pizza and chicken nuggets. I rarely make more of a meal.
Today was productive. Don’t get me wrong, I have days when I do much less.
Tonight was just a a reminder that my husband does everything right and I fail. It has to be so hard on him. He’s kind about it, and supportive and loving, but I’m embarrassed.
I can echo what other people say on here, “I used to be able to do so much.” I should be doing so much more. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for me when it’s not hard for other people.
The thought of suicide is always right there.
I can tell you that most women, regardless of disability status, feel this way at times. It’s a cultural problem. We are constantly exposed to Pinterest-perfect pictures of clean homes and fancy meals and think that’s what everyone else is doing. We think we are the lazy ones. But the truth is, most people do frozen pizza and chicken nuggets most nights. Even the Pinterest bloggers. You’re comparing your normal and low days to everyone else’s best days, and then wondering why you don’t stack up.
Your husband has a different brain than you. Going to the store isn’t as painful for him. Of course he would want to go and spare you that pain, when it’s very little effort for him. I bet there are things you do better than him. But because they’re easy for you, you don’t realize how much he appreciates them. Maybe it’s your capacity to care openly for so many people. Maybe it’s your ability to comfort your kids when they’re sad.
You’re not worthless. You make the world better with your heart. That’s worth way more than a trip to the grocery store.
I doubt your husband does everything right and i’m pretty sure you don’t always fail. This all-or-nothing thinking isn’t good. You are bound to have an off day like any normal person would. Nobody can be everything to everybody. You have to cut yourself some slack. Your husband obviously loves you, right?
He does. Good reminders. Thanks.
I only shop online and do pick up. I have a very hard time shopping. Sounds like you have a very supportive husband. Ì make heat and eat meals for the kids sometimes. The point is they got fed by a mom who loves them. You are far from worthless.
Sounds like you did a lot today and had a very productive day.
Dont be so hard on yourself.
Shopping is not easy for me either.
Many people with SZ find shopping difficult, you are not alone with this.
You are not worthless!
My dad was physically disabled. Some days, he stayed in bed all day and we came and watched television with him. That was all he could do. But that was enough. I loved sitting and watching CSI with my dad, or having him read stories I wrote. My mom did most of the housework and chores, but he was still an amazing and valuable part of our family just because he loved us so much. My dad was my best friend.
I didn’t care at all that he didn’t do more around the house or make us fancy meals. Neither did my mom. He was the very best at showing love and emotionally supporting us. That was what he could do. He sometimes got upset over the things he couldn’t do, too, but we reminded him that he was worth more than his physical abilities.
These are helpful words. Thank you!