I feel so alone with my thoughts

And alone in general…i dont really talk in real life…20 words a day maybe. The only person in real life im around is my mom a few hrs a week and i dont tell her stuff, she does all the talking, she doesnt really care if im worried about something or what i did or what i think and i dont really have the energy to bother talking anyway. So that leaves me stressin with no one to bounce my thoughts off of. Overwhelmed by my thoughts with no way to ease em and no way to get them out. I feel like i need to say a lot that i dont even know what i need to say and i cant say it even if i did know…like being trapped in silence with thoughts torturing me

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Doesn’t this forum help?

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A little but i feel afriad if i share stuff people will get info about my life and use it to curse me. And i feel like i have to be positive on here cause people like it when ur positive so i try to keep stuff to myself

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I make a vent thread every now and then. People don’t seem to mind.

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Maybe i’ll make a vent thread and post things there…then i could say some of my thoughts somewhere

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Why don’t you get a therapist?

Being in a room with someone with the sole purpose of talking which is extremely hard for me to do is the last thing i wanna do. I could hardly speak to my psychiatrist. I just wish i had a close family member or something who i clould talk to. Or just that i could talk. It is very hard to talk tho for many reasons.

Its just things like “im afriad my neighbors poisoned my dogs” for example…i cant tell anyone that…it just panicks me. I’m not sure its even something u tell a friend even if u could

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I think you can post things like that under the ‘unusual beliefs’ section if you’re trying to overcome that belief.

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I think it comes down to feeling trapped by not being able to communicate with people…ive become almost mute slowly over the last 12 years…it’s frusturating. I know one group of people online i could talk to….they like me and they are the closest i have to friends…they do a zoom call 2x a week…i could talk to them but i cant talk

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Maybe try humming or singing to practice using your voice.

I don’t know if that will help. I’m just trying to give you some ideas.

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Maybe it would, i’ll try it since on thing is speaking a certain volume feels weird to me…then theres other reasons like no words being in my head when i try to talk, being too “lazy” to talk, worrying that when i talk i can make things happen, worrying people will curse me if i talk to them…it all adds up to hardly being able to speak and it’s making life hard.

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Maybe you can write an email to your GP/Pdoc or take a letter to your next appointment describing your issues.

There’s no need to suffer in silence for the rest of your life.

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My pdoc moved away almost a year ago and the clinic hasnt replaced her yet so my gp is just filling my prescriptions with no apptments. I had one appt and she said shes not qualified for me and she would try to push the clinic to hurry up. But when i get a pdoc ill consider writing things down or if its virtual using chat

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Good luck with it all!

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Thanks and thank you for giving me some ideas

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You could share a poem.

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What about talking to a therapist on the phone I really prefer my phone meetings because voices don’t get active as much when I’m not in the presence of an individual

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This is a good place to talk to people because you can post what you want to say and then go away and come back when you’re ready to respond. It’s on your time. It’s different from an in person conversation where you have to keep talking.

I hope you start sharing with us. It’s not good to be so alone and unsupported

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