I feel like Im stuck in a loop!

Like seriously, how hard is it to become successful with schizophrenia or bipolar…I mean, it would be nice to have a champion or advocate. I dont have that. I am the only one rooting for me…it would be nice if I had a cheerleader someone whose like–she can overcome this! lets help her get out of the house, lets give her a chance! lets provide her some income, or a job she can do part time…not this based living that always is 100 percent black or white. Im not a basic person, but I dont even have a based basic person rooting for my success…friends are all into themselves…into their own survival…workin for their own mans…how will I overcome the disparity of the immense divide between the haves and had nots…

for instance, if i cant use a transportation resource to work a job/im screwed either way/cant even attempt to work a job and see if i can do them with accommodations and I really want to work a full time job 9-5 even if I have to work to death and work up to 40 credits before I can save for retirement and the government doesnt care that I have disabilities or that I was crazy in High school and college and never got any short-cuts or opportunities to get ahead, that my college tuition is being paid for by the state, that my parents are too busy with their own lives to worry with mine…and are bad at parenting moreso all they are good at is nuances and random control… and constant marital fights…

I dont want a handout man, I Just want a freakin chance…thats all I want and no one will even reach out to do that…I have $100 in my bank account and Im saving it until it makes sense to have money for whats it worth if its all a waste of time and effort, why would I even use money if my life is so worthless to be invested in…to finish college…what do I work for in work for dollars if I dont spend money on anything for anyone…im just overwhelmed…like isnt wealth supposedly about opportunity, value, and the efforts you make…doesnt anyone value the efforts I have made? seems like none of it ever counted or was counted…

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It can be pretty frustrating to keep getting knocked back by something like SZ…

There is no easy way to deal with this, and we must make difficult decisions/sacrifices to get through each obstacle in front of us

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