The sand has got me and it pulling me down slowly…
I am trying to keep my logic in tact… fact checking and trying to keep my mind in order and using my CBT list and other exercises to keep me grounded… and to keep me from being upset by sonic hearing… some paranoid spikes… some sneaky brained thinking.
But it’s been a week of this
the feeling that if I think about something… I give it power and it will happen. I’m trying to stop myself from thinking about things… because I don’t want them to come true. But the wheel in my head keeps spinning.
I’m fighting off the sinking feeling that the upstairs neighbor has bugged my apartment… It just seems too coincidental to me that he only gets loud when I get home. I hear him stomping around up there… in the same room I’m in. He’s on his deck, when I’m in the yard… why?
I keep telling myself… He’s just a loud rude guy… he’s moving out… but I’m still feeling spied on. I still can’t figure out why he only stomps around when he realizes I’m home.
I’ve also been fighting off the thinking my family is plotting behind my back. It wouldn’t be logical. But I can’t help this sinking feeling.
I really want to go swim today… if I can remember how much I float… it might help. Maybe there is just too much happening around me this week.
It’s been a hard week. the Seattle Seahawks are in the super bowl… I’m not a fan… but my town has been full of gun shots… fireworks… people yelling from their cars… honking…
My nerves are raw… I feel like my protective coating has been run across the cheese grater again.
It helps a bit to post and get it siphoned off. Thank you.
I understand. I have cruel neighbors and family too. But how do you know he’s not making that much noise when your not home if your not there?
That is just the sort of logical question I have been using to keep a hold of myself.
I know I’m just guessing that he’s quiet when I’m away. I have no proof that he’s extra noisy only when I’m home…
I do know that a huge portion of my family is NOT plotting behind my back. They all worked too hard to help me get where I am… out of hospital and on my own. But again… sneaky brained thinking.
It’s just one brother who is constantly triggering… I’m trying to get better at not letting this one person in the family upset me this much.
Yes I understand. Some people are just extra noisy.
@SurprisedJ One week of having paranoid distorted thinking is a pretty long time. It does seem that you have been triggered or there is the added stress of the Superbowl and your brother.
I would say that if it persists or gets worse rapidly, it would be time to talk to your pdoc - I am assuming that your sis and close family members are aware of the paranoia. Maybe a med adjustment might be a solution, even if its temporary - the whole idea is not for it to get worse or uncontrollable where you lose insight.
I am hoping that you feel better soon J - no one needs to suffer like this- there are solutions
You try hard on things,just maintain it and I believe these bad things will go away…I sincerly understand much that when we are in a bad moment,especially if it’s for long it can be a confusing and tough moment.I think just don’t feel so bad about the bad moments,bad time and maybe swipe the phone if your feeling low,that’s my advice and it worked for me
I was at my pdoc’s earlier this week. No med tinkering. But if the rest of the weekend gets hard to face, I’ll call him for some advice on Monday.
I will book an appointment with my therapist. Maybe get some ideas and get some things off my chest.
My sis and my Gf have noticed how snappy turtle I’ve been. I’ve been pretty amped up. I guess I’ve been pretty fidgety. Pacing in circles… the worst for me is having the sonic hearing come back and being sensitive to lights.
At work I feel much better. Open space, quiet, plants.
Around people lately… it’s been a struggle. The thing is, I like people.
But all the shouting and banging has been setting me off. Plus some of the family stuff has been upsetting me too… and there is some sneaky brained thinking I’ve been trying to fight off.
Sitting at the bottom of the pool did help today. Decompression. I’m going to stay in my room tomorrow. Have a day of no drama. Recharge the batteries.
Having similar problems with a neighbor. I called my sister and she said nothing is going on. I struggle with the coincidental’s too. To me, my neighbor is getting away with murder. Debated going down and pounding on her door. Anything to get her to leave me alone. Someone on here recently said that we can see other people with schizophrenia problems better than our own. I probably am delusional about the neighbor. Maybe not. I can tell you surprised, that I seriously doubt that your neighbor bugged your apartment. It just sounds far-fetched. In regards to your family: why would they possibly want to undo what they have spent your lifetime building up? Maybe there’s a couple small things you did that irks them but I doubt there is a full-scale plot going on to do anything bad to you. Family relations are hard and you have a large family, as you have often told us, there is sometimes friction between people. It’s unavoidable. Yeah, it just sounds like a stressful week for you. I understand . Man, when the 49’rs were winning all those Superbowl’s in the eighties our town went crazy! People lined up on each side of of our main drag and were shouting and yelling and drinking the whole night. It was chaos. Anyway, here’s wishing you the best. I hope you pull out of this soon.
Thank you for that @77nick77
A calm voice of reason is always appreciated.
It has been a pretty stressful week. My sis has been telling me that she hears the guy stomping around when she’s home too… I shouldn’t take it personally.
He’s just a very loud person… and he is in fact moving out this week. So that’s probably why I hear extra banging.
when I have a chance to calm down and catch my breath… I know my whole family isn’t trying to unravel me.
It’s just been constant noise and shouting inside and out. My nerves are shot. I’ve been jumping out of my skin more then usual.