It really hurts me that everyone hates me so darn much. I don’t understand what is so awful about me. I think it is something about my basic personality that they don’t like but, I don’t know how to change it. I smile all the time, and I try to act really super friendly all the time, but in spite of all this, people still continue to hate my guts with a flying passion. And they prefer everyone else to me. They talk friendly like to other people, while not saying a word to me. I even think that people on this website hate me. My pdoc tells me that it is not true, that it is my sz that is doing it. But, I don’t know. I guess he’s right. But, it does not make it any easier to live with. I still have to contend with all of the hate. I’m on all of this medication. I’m even on Risperdal Consta. And even that doesn’t work against it. My darling son had the same problems as me. He solved them by committing suicide, may he rest in peace. But, I won’t go that route. I won’t put my family through that again. Besides, I got God to carry me through this treacherous journey. Thank goodness that I have God.
I get the same thing hon. “If they are not against you then they are for you” -Holy Bible
people who are completely against you make it pretty clear usually. Fortunately they are generally rare.
It’s nice to know that there’s somebody else out there like me.
You don’t happen to know what verse that is do you?
Luke 9:50 Hope it helped
Sometimes I am just fine being alone if the only folks around are disrespectful or self absorbed.
Can I ask you if there is a certain type of relationship you can develop with another individual that will satisfy you? A relationship that meets up for coffee every…? A relationship that develops over time and can withstand constructive criticism? A relationship that provides praise for musical appreciation?
I’ve been spit on… I mean literally spit on more than once…
One of the biggest warning signs for me that I’m going into an episode is I start feeling like everyone hates me. That’s your illness talking, not logic or reason.
Try to examine why you think others hate you. Have you done anything wrong? Have you done anything to seriously offend or hurt someone?
Hate is a powerful emotion and is garnered through seriously negative actions…as for dislike, there are people who will be ignorant and mistreat you because of it, but I mean it isn’t possible for EVERYONE to like you.
Trust me, it is the illness.
Can you run down a description of your “God” for us? Just curious whenever I see “Everyone hates me” and “TG I have God” in the same paragraph.
Everyone but God.
As long as one person likes me at work or in my apartment complex that’s all that counts.
Dude man! Nick bro
I had a relationship like this for 10 years. She was a guitarist and composer in her own right and she provided constructive criticism for my works. But alas, she was bipolar and also BPD and the relationship was extremely rocky. She is presently not talking to me. Again.
Simple. God is the only one on my side. He see’s everyone hating me, and He seem’s to be sympathetic to me.
Anna wrote: “That’s your illness talking, not logic or reason” in response to your original post. I have to support her assertion, and here’s why:
I was raised charismatic & evangelical. I grew up with a “god” who was “everywhere, all-seeing, and all-powerful.” The first time I heard an old song called “Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide” (by Martha & the Vandellas in the early '60s I think), I (meaning my illness) =knew= it was “god” speaking to me. I (meaning my body and mind) had been abused a lot as a child by those I (meaning my body and mind) was forced to depend upon. I (meaning my illness) had to come up with a way to cope. So I (meaning my illness) split into discrete compartments of complete and unquestioning trust in “god” and other authorities =here=, and wholesale fear and distrust of everyone in the environment =there=.
Meds helped to chill all the “word wars” in my head, but at the price of feeling life was waaaaaaaaay too much work for waaaaaaaay too little reward. I (meaning my body) found several forms of cognitive and mindfulness psychotherapy. One of the most significant upshots was that I (meaning my body) began to distance itself from my illness and see it as a way a small child was forced to cope with overwhelming stress no child could handle.
Now I (meaning my body) just looks to see, to recognize, to acknowledge, to accept, to appreciate and to understand what is actually there, rather than what my illness says is there. The “splitting” still happens at times, but it doesn’t last long, I (my body) rarely feels anxious or depressed (or manic), and I take less than a tenth of the Seroquel I (my body) used to take for my illness.
And I (my mind) no longer see the world through the eyes of “god” or =anyone= “else.”
I’ve been the same way but people really do hate SZ because there is something “off” about us. I should rephrase, It’s not that they hate us, they just don’t understand us, so they treat us differently and it can make you seem like they hate you. Then you question their motives and they avoid you because you act flaky. It’s a never ending cycle. What’s helped for me is really trying to get into other peoples heads. Trying to understand where people are coming from where they say certain things. They don’t hate us. But it is very frustrating as I’m devoid of much emotion and have bad days when others seem to just “get it” even if they don’t "get it’ at all. We have a psychic-like awareness, but for nothing. We’d be better off just being the sheep then the wolf. At least the sheppard (society) protects the sheep. The wolf is just outcasted. Hmmm but I can totally relate but I’ve improved in this. i have a close knit of friends now which is good. No one hates me anymore in my mind but I feel frustrated at times when other people have such wonderful but seemingly boring to me conversations and I can’t participate.
A LOT of people hate me because I won’t do something they want me to do. I’m livid about it. I want satisfaction.
I have delusions of persecution and often feel this exact same way. I’m told that isn’t true and I try to accept that. Sometimes it takes a lot of self-talk to accept that not everyone is out to “hate us”or “get us”. I hope you feel better. Please feel free to PM me if you need to chat. I’m new to this site and interested in making new friends that I can chat with when I’m have a tough time. (Hugs)
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Yeah I’m kinda like that.