I am dying of stress living with them. I don’t want to be here. They’re good people but I can’t tolerate being around them and their constant drama. It’s been a drain on my siblings’ and I sanity forever which is why my brothers never come home from college. This is the absolute worst time period in my life external quality of life wise. What do I do? I start classes in 2 weeks that I have to commute to and can’t take a full time job because of them. At least until next year I am absolutely trapped at home. I am on the brink of totally losing my sh*t every day.
My friend offered up the spare room in her house but I’d feel massively guilty completely dumping the puppy on my mom. Even if it would just be for a week. Also it’s her parents’ house and I know her dad also has anger issues so that unsettles me.
I was telling my mom how I was angry with them for being so stressful and my mom basically just said get over it her life is more stressful and I don’t do anything so helping with the dog shouldn’t be a big deal.
She keeps missing the point that it has nothing to DO with putting the dog to bed and I have no issues with helping with the dog, I don’t like being dragged out in the middle of my dad screaming at her, or throwing things, or dealing with him screaming at the dog if she barks, and then Mom freaking out worried he will hurt her, and then texting me to make sure she stays safe like I don’t know what I’m supposed to do go fight him if he loses it and tries to beat her?? Oh my GOD. THAT is what I am complaining about Mom. NOT having to take her out or put her to bed at night.
Parents can be massively stressful. If they aren’t easy to deal with and you are dependent on them for money or shelter it’s very hard. If you think you have a set amount of time until school is done is it possible to give yourself some options for ways to be out of the house? Can you arrange to study or be out later in the evening so when you come home they are already in bed? Or leave early in the day to avoid them first thing? If you can maximize time that you have to yourself and can dedicate to school it may help get you through. If you don’t think it’s a good idea to move in with your friend perhaps you could spend a night or two a week there. Having some respite can help sustain you.
I dealt with my crazy mother while I was in school and even until recently when living alone. She has helped with some bills when finding work was tough and so many strings are always attached. It’s very unhealthy. She doesn’t work and has lived off of funds she inherited from her parents so when she uses money as control because it’s “hers” it’s like I’m backed in a corner. On paper it’s hers but she did nothing to earn it and I can be working my butt off and looking for a new job and still not making enough and she is there using the money as control. I can’t tell her off because then she says stuff like I’d be homeless without her and I’m awful to treat her like that. It’s true she doesn’t have to help me but she could live within her means much more and be less stressed about giving me money my grandparents would want me to have. I don’t have a lavish lifestyle but making ends meet can be hard so it’s been necessary. I did just get a job today which will give me enough to cut off for good. It’s caused massive strain to my health and my relationship and she doesn’t understand why she’s so hard to deal with. She can’t see it. She is delusional and in deep denial. Because she has $ she thinks she is independent but she would be lost without the money. She can’t even manage it herself. She has to pay someone to set what she can spend and she often doesn’t stick to it. It’s very hard but seeing a path like school that can get you to a point where you can afford more independence can be a great motivator to do well.
