First off sorry for sharing personal beliefs on here. I should know that only causes trouble…its just hard when there’s nowhere to talk about them!
Anyways other thing on my mind tonight is my general feeling of sadness that I didn’t ever really get to be a carefree happy kid. I struggled with psychosis from a very young age, as far back as I can remember, and had experiences that were very traumatizing to me even back then. I started struggling with depression by the time I was 10 years old. I just feel like there were so many experiences or good things that I just missed out on. I never really just got to be a kid. It isolated me from ever really connecting with people my age. I was always scared for my life or suffering…and I can’t ever change the past. It just leaves me with this sad grey feeling.
I think everyone on here knows what your talking about. The sad feeling. You’re right, it’s not fair that anyone, especially a kid, should have to go through mental illness.
My childhood had its share of pain, but there were some good aspects to it also. I’m sorry yours was bad. Try not to believe that the rest of your life has to be painful too.
I know what you mean, @Anna. I have a journal that we kept to practice writing at school, in first grade. That’s just seven years old. I wrote that I wished anyone would care about me. That I care about people but no one cares about me. I think back and realize that’s when my friend’s dad was molesting me.
I had already started hallucinating at four. I was already "different ", and I guess I was a sort of target for abuse. I always felt different from other kids. I was…
Now, even with sz, we have more awareness and control. There’s no making up for what happens in childhood, but doing simple things now that bring happiness is important.
I wish you happiness, @Anna️
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