I never got to be a normal kid. I wish I had. I was watching this TV show where this kid who’s friends with aliens and has an insane life was hanging out with some regular teenagers, and they were all complaining about annoying parents and work and all that and then he shared all that had been bothering him, which were completely unrelatable and very strange problems because he lived with non-humans and was half-human himself. He basically inhabited a different world than them even though they’re all on the same planet.
And that’s how I feel a lot of the time. My friends will talk about their relationship issues or school stress and I’m over here like “the book I’m reading on Human Trafficking triggered my psychosis so I got no sleep last night because a demon was harassing me verbally and physically”
No one I know in my life can relate to that. I guess that’s why this forum is so important to me because it’s the first place I found where people just seem to get where I’m coming from, and even if people haven’t had my exact experiences everyone here gets what it’s like to be living in a world that’s different from what most people live in.
But most of the time I just wish I could have had at least some time without my psychosis so I could just have normal relatable problems my friends could sympathize with me on. It’s very lonely having problems no one else does, you know? It also means there’s no one to tell you how to deal with it or advise you on it or explains what’s happening when things get really weird…
Thanks again to everyone on here. This forum has been more helpful to me than therapy!!
I lived a normal life until I was 9 and my mom got cancer (which ultimately took her life). Then at 11, everything went to hell. I know what you mean when you say it’s hard to relate to people who have no concept of the “alternate reality” we live in. Now, thanks to medication and lots of hard work, I’m returning to reality. Keep on pushing @Anna, keep pushing!
Thanks!! (And sorry about your mom, geez how awful for a kid to go through…) And yeah I think not being able to relate to other people has been a recurring theme in my life since as long as I can remember…it definitely played at least a small part in my delusions of not being human…
I thought I was having remission…until spring break when it all came back. Ugh. I’ll have these periods of time that are normal and it’s like just enough to get my hopes up and then it’s nope.
But I’ll just be grateful that I at least have those periods of normality because not everyone does.
It shall pass. Knowing that the worst( and best) moments pass has helped me to not be so afraid of what is going to happen. Things have been a lot better since I took that to heart.
I can completely identify with what you are saying. I don’t feel at home unless I am talking to other people going through this. It is isolating. I also have periods of “normalcy” but this other world we’re in is also mishmashed into the reality. I never disbelieve in it; it just doesn’t always effect me that much. For instance, sometimes the entities will leave me alone or even be friendly and assist me in doing things.
Yeah that’s what it’s like for me in my normal times too. They’re all still there but they don’t really talk to me as much unless I reach out to them. And nothing scary happens, like I won’t have paranoia attacks at night and see horrible faces when I close my eyes and all that.
It’s sort of like during those times my psychosis moves into the background where it’s not as in my face and the real world is in the foreground. And that’s as normal as it gets for me so that’s what I count normal as! Haha
