I did some pretty rotten things in my past

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Dont worry about it, i was just messing around with questions. I dont even know if youre trying to help or nah with the questions. Im sorry :upside_down_face:

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I’m sorry @anon2818416
I was pretty grandiose for most of my life.

We can learn from past mistakes.

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Exactly! The medication helps too

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One incident that haunts me, is being in group therapy years ago after my break down. I said something that another member of the group took as quite offensive, and I got shredded by the group leader, despite my trying to explain myself.

In hindsight, I was in a terrible place and acted out. I seem to flip flop between feeling terrible about it, and feeling resentment about how it was handled.

Some things can really stick with you

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I may have done some bad things in my past but at least I have remorse.

My brother is still a Narcissist so he’s far from perfect also.

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Hey, buddy, spending the time talking with you and calming me down, kept me on forum for years…
I just expected that majority of folks here would see you just as empath who never missed a compassion to poster in hard times…
I think you are a bit hard on your self now…

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Thanks @anon22846033
You are a good friend

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Try to pardon yourself yeap dear :relaxed: I rotten in guilt too, since my diagnosis… I did some bad stuff, plus was having for long quite bad thoughts :smirk: But we both with you, were martyrs in a way you know… I felt like I was crucified, this should be the sz still…
You were good to me here, let’s aim be better with every day. The normies do horrific things too, but some of them don’t care…
Don’t be hard on yourself, now you are better, you even help much your dad, smth that I can’t do for my mom still, so I have my squeletons in the wardrobe still :flushed:
You are good too, so worry less :slightly_smiling_face: Hugs!!!

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This is true of me also, but we have to move on

My parents have mostly moved on from my troubled past, and they recognise I am trying to do better

Your brother needs to let it go as we grow and learn as humans, and we all have our flaws that either define us, or we can leave behind

He really needs to accept you for the person you are now, and not in the past.

Maybe your mental health had a huge part, but I wouldn’t disregard yourself to a pack of symptoms. Need to give yourself a break!

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Everyone has done loads of good and bad things. It is just part of being a human person. Being able to acknowledge and accept responsibility for the hurt you cause it a good thing. Don’t let it paralyze you.

And especially don’t carry the guilt of things you did as a child. Children are SUPOOSED to do loads of terrible things. They are learning morality through trial and error. That is one reason personality disorders can’t be diagnosed before adulthood. The ability to understand empathy develops between 7-11ish years old. The ability to think before acting doesn’t fully develop until adulthood. The ability to understand that you are not the center of everyone’s universe doesn’t arise until late teens or early 20s. And this is all in typically developing brains with no MI.

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@Ninjastar as a child, or even as an adolescent. When I was looking at BPD as a possible diagnosis, my psychologist reminded me that lots of things that can appear as borderline are just normal parts of being a teenager. It’s when those traits carry on into adulthood that it becomes a problem

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@Wave you have been kind and supportive to me over the last 4.5 years. That’s shows your real character. You’re a good person. Let the past stay in the past if your brother can’t see you for who you are now he’s missing out on a chance to know a wonderful person.

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I just talked to my brother and he does forgive me.
He still cares for me.
He says it was the illness and I’m in a better place in my life now.
The meds really help.

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Thanks @Anna1 @Joker @Ninjastar and @Leaf

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Yes this is true

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I think you’re a nice person

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Thanks @Loke
I think you are a nice person too

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My daughter when she was 13 or 14 said the F word. I smacked her on the head and that made her cry. She was just looking for a reaction cos she knew I hated that word. That’s horrible what I did

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I did alot of things i regret because of my sz, but it was the illness 100% that caused those things…but wave that is the illness, one acts totally out of character when schizophrenic,

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Yes my brother acknowledges that it was the illness too.
Thanks @karl

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