Not sleep wise thankfully I’m fine there thanks to seroquel. Just life-wise. I woke up today after long and horrible nightmares. Dreaming I was back in my bedroom where all the horrible stuff happened. I was being abused again. It made me practically catatonic in the dream and people were freaking out because they couldn’t get me to respond, I’d just lie on the ground staring blankly listening to the demons. They tried to carry me to the hospital and I was just limp, I couldn’t move I just felt dead.
When I woke up from the dream I was in that miserable state where I don’t want to get out of bed. It took me a couple hours. I am still very out of it and unmotivated. I’ve been folding laundry for my mom for Mother’s Day but it’s hard to focus so it’s been taking way longer than it should. I’m supposed to be celebrating another semester down with friends tonight but I feel like being a hermit. I dunno. My brother made me French toast & brought it on a tray after I admitted I hadn’t eaten anything all day. He’s a great brother, I’m so grateful for him.
I’m sorry about your nightmares. They can completely ruin my sleep even if I was sleeping totally fine and leave me exhausted as well. Do you have anything you can do to self-soothe? Perhaps you’ll feel better by the time you go out. I know for me, sometimes I didn’t want to go out because I was feeling awful but going out ended up being worth it because I was surrounded by people who made everything fun and relaxing.
Yeah I know it’s better for me if I go out because it will shift my brain to a different place. My old therapist said she thought I had an issue with change/shifts. So like if I’m not doing well or zoned out thinking about doing social things gives me anxiety and stress, but when I’m actually doing the things I’m fine and become very happy. She said that was normal for people with my issues.