Rant worthy night

I’m sorry to keep talking about this. Mods lock the post if you have to. But I just need to rant right now. It’s 11:30pm. I have to be awake for work at 5am and here I am wide awake because my stupid brain WILL NOT let me sleep. This is one where I’m gunna be awake for probably another hour before I can calm down enough to try sleeping again.

Tonight’s nightmare was really really scary. I won’t do details but in the dream I had to call my mom as I lay dying. Why does my brain do this ■■■■ to me. And. The event that precipitated this is absolutely something that could happen in real life.

These dreams are making me scared to leave my house… This is serious and I feel like no one is taking me seriously. Just my therapist and she can’t really help me.

I even took an Ativan this afternoon so I shouldn’t have been anxious before bed. Nothing is working.

■■■■ Prazosin. And anything else that takes forever to MAYBE beginning to see results.

I’m so tired.
Okay. Rant over.


Sleep is very important and there’s different options out there these days. Sz tend to have busy minds and can relate.


Editing now. Sorry.

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Done. 151515151515

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I have to take diazepam to quiet my mind on many nights. I have noticed an increase in very intense dreams since starting seroquel/quetiapine. Some are nightmares while others are just weird. But like I said, intense. I’m sorry that yours are basically nightmares all the time. That’s awful.


I wonder if I can ask my prescriber about diazepam. My dreams are terrible. Every night. How long did it take to begin working for you?

Well, it used to knock me out instantly. I’d use it in super high stress situations, like plane rides. Then mania hit, and anxiety got worse. I was prescribed 10mg 3x/day. I took it for a while as prescribed, but I avoid it now. It’s a rare day that I take more than one. I don’t want to be acclimated. It just isn’t as effective if I take it so often; what would I do on planes if it didn’t work? I don’t want to end up on a video going nuts on a plane because meds didn’t work and someone coughed or burped. Better to use it when desparate. It kicks in pretty quickly under those circumstances. Maybe 30 minutes? The catch is to really limit it. I can’t emphasize that enough. Benzos can be rough, I’ve heard.

I wanted to add- diazepam doesn’t affect my dreams at all. They just help my mind to slow down from 100 mph to maybe 60.

Sending da (((hugs)))

:hugs: :heart:


I see. You’re smart to limit your intake so as to avoid acclimating. 3x per day seems like a lot. Especially for a benzo. I wonder what the thought process was behind prescribing so much. At least you’ve got plenty in case you need it like for plane rides.

I’m usually calm before I go to bed so it probably wouldn’t help me too much then:(

Probably not if you’re calm. Sorry.

It wasn’t actually prescribed for mania or specifically to calm my mind a bit. I had/have severe anxiety issues. I was scared of men, carried a knife for protection, etc etc. I was scared if someone walked their tiny dog on the other side of the road in my generally active subdivision in the daylight. So it helped me chill some. And I don’t travel but every few years. Emetophobia makes planes (and sometimes just being around others) a b****.

I will keep it in mind as I’ve noticed I’m becoming more fearful these days as well. I carry pepper spray for that reason. I don’t go certain places alone. I’m constantly worried that someone is gunna break into my apartment.

Emetophobia is really hard to deal with. My cousin has it and she can’t be around hospitals, infirmaries, planes, amusement parks or anywhere with school aged children. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that.

I’m gunna try sleeping again. It’s been about an hour.

I see you’re replying, I may end up responding a bit later. Hopefully meaning I’ve gotten some sleep.

It was conditioning for me, I think. It started before kindergarten. My sister would get carsick. The nightmares and staying up to listen in case she would cough at night were a huge toll on me at age.

Nowadays, the most helpful thing regarding fear is my puppy. He’s a giant breed known for barking and not trusting strangers. He kindly lets me know if he hears something, and that helps me figure out if it’s real or not.

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I also use my dog to help me know when I’m hallucinating noises or if it’s real…she also gets me out of bed each day and helps me tolerate being around other people. Dogs are awesome!


Yeah that sounds pretty rough. I’m glad you’ve got your pup. One day I will have one too. I want to move to a place that allows pets since service animals are so expensive.

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Are you in the States or elsewhere? In the US, many service dogs/training facilities actually donate the dog to the person. The disabled person doesn’t end up paying anything.

Really? I’m in the US and I’ve only ever heard of reduced costs and then fundraising to cover the rest. Do you know of any organizations that do that? Also do you have to be legally disabled? As in receiving disability?