I am really daft

Why do i get these ideas, my co-worker tells me she is single today and i cant stop thinking about her now :frowning:

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Haha :joy: 15151515

She’s most likely just making small talk

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it was small talk like i said i was on my own and she said she was too and i was like ‘i thought you were married’ she’s like no i am single and i live with my family :frowning: she is really nice :frowning:

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That’s cool. 1515

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Yeah but i’m getting these feelings again like i did with another staff member :frowning: I kind of fell for the other staff member but another guy is with her now and she is pregnant now :frowning:
it is really upsetting but i would have liked to have been that guy but bc i am apparently mentally deranged and under her care we couldnt do anything, idk if she would have but we are very fond of each other, its a bit awkward now :frowning:

This new co-worker is nice too, i am getting feeling for her just bc she said she was single.

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Is it feelings for her or feelings of wanting to not be single?

Surely it’s best to keep things smooth and cordial. Especially given you both work in the same place?

Idk about outside the UK but here, people usually avoid dating people from the workplace

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its different bc i am kind of under her care (kind of)

As in she’s a manager?

I’ve had situations like that. I’ve avoided it though, two managers at my last place asked if I was single and kept dropping hints. I did everything to act naive

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she is my go to person at the clubhousse, if i need to talk she is there. she is new, i have had her for a few weeks

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You’ve got to let her go. She’s not hitting on you. And there can’t be romance between coworkers. Sometime people get fired for that.

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I cant help having feelings though, they are strong, my ex really hammered my feelings :frowning: i had to suppress them for a long time. its that animal instinct :frowning: natural desires

Some woman tells you in an offhand comment that she’s single and now you have “animal instinct natural desires”.

You need to get it in control man.

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She may not feel the same about you.
I guess you’ll find out either way though. You don’t know her so be careful.

It’s good to take chances, but just be careful and don’t come on too strong. Just be friendly.

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This sounds like she is a caretaker, not a coworker. If she is paid to care for the emotional needs of clubhouse members, she could be fired and blacklisted from ever working in the field again and possibly even arrested if people thought she was pursuing you romantically. It is a huge ethics violation for a human services worker to become romantically involved with a client. You definitely don’t want to act in any way that could give people that impression. You can’t help your feelings, but please remember she is doing her job. Her job is to care about you. Not to be romantically interested in you. The power imbalance if you dated a caregiver would be huge, anyways, and not in your favor. You don’t want a relationship where the other person has that much power over you.

If I misunderstood, and she is just another clubhouse member who also works there same as you, then disregard all that.

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you aree right about that, it was the same with the other woman :frowning: :frowning: i thought it would be ok if i said i was taking advantage of her lol but i wouldnt but i wouldn’t let anyone take advantage of me anyway, it is my life and i do what i like, and anyway, maybe i want to be taken advantage of :frowning:

I feel pretty bad about the whole situation bc it all ties in with my mental illness and reinforces the fact that i need help which i hate about myself, i wish i didnt need help or care i just want to be free and date whoever i like,

all the women think i am crazy and thats why they stay away from me anyway, it seems i am only allowed to date that of my own kind i.e. other women with mental illness, i feel like i’d havee to go on the undateables to get notices, fkn illness makes me feel psychologically ugly too

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Maybe change the way you view yourself and disease like mental illness types of disease or illness. It might help with self esteem which is what it seems you struggle with given what you’ve written about not liking to be affected by sz.

Nobody likes it. But plenty don’t let it define or dictate everything about their identity.

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So? What is so wrong with mentally ill women? This is an attitude I see a lot in mentally ill men and hardly ever in mentally ill women. I am dating an autistic with PTSD. And it works great for us. Disabled people can date other disabled people and be very happy.

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Agreed

15151515

nothing wrong with mentally ill women, i was with one for 15 yrs, I just dont want to be put in a box bc of my illness