One of my best friends is a guy I hang out with a lot. For the past month and a half, he’s been having a really short fuse with me, often resulting in him asking me to leave.
He gets annoyed with me over stupid things, like my inability to make fast desicions and “think for myself”, and my lack of initiative. In other words, things I feel I have little to no control over, while he feels like I should just try harder and not “play dumb”.
I feel like the stress of constantly trying to avoid displeasing him is taking a toll on my SZ symptoms, and I want to tell him that he’s making my symptoms worse, but on the other hand, I don’t want him to feel like I’m blaming him for me being sick.
Thanks for the replies.
I just don’t know HOW to talk to him, I mean, I tried compiling a message to send him about it, but it turned out way too long and he’ll probably never read through half of that, so I scrapped that idea.
I would do it face-to-face, but I’m scared of how he might react.
I’m scared of losing him as a friend, too, because neither of us have that many others, and I do care about him, but I still feel like I can’t go on seeing him for much longer if his behaviour doesn’t change.
If this isn’t how your friend usually treats you, you might ask him what’s causing his problem with you lately, and if this is his ‘normal’ way to treat you, tell him this isn’t the way you’d like to be treated anymore.
Give him a chance to think about this, then see if things improve, if they don’t, it’s time to find a new friend.
You don’t have to break your ties with him completely. Just spend less time with him. Hopefully he will get the message. If he doesn’t, maybe you should spend even less time with him.
Well…
I went to his house, and he once again threatened to tell me to leave, so I got up and said I’d rather leave myself then.
He got mad and said not to contact him again. Yikes!
I think I hurt his feelings, or maybe he just felt I was being rude, I don’t know.
I feel like I had to stand up for myself, but I feel bad at the same time. I’ll give him a few days to cool down, and then send him a message explaining why I did what I did.
Sounds like you hurt each others feelings. Maybe try explaining that you don’t mean to hurt his feelings but it hurts yours when he does whatever upsets you. If he is a good friend I think he’ll understand if you put it to him politely, if not then don’t beat yourself up about it and just distance yourself. I don’t think friends often kick each other out of their places.
… He’s unfriended me on FB now. He’s never done that before. Come to think of it, I don’t think he’s ever told me not to contact him either.
I guess he’s serious this time.
I’ll still try to message him in a few days. Knowing him, it would be unwise to try anything right now, though.
I was having the exact same issue with my roommate. Eventually it was getting to me so bad I called her out on it, I blew up and left the apartment. I think that’s when she realized how she had been acting and she later apologized. She was messed up from her grandpa’s death and had a busy schedule that didn’t allow her to eat much so she was hangry too. Maybe your friend is also having personal issues he needs to sort through. Either way definitely let him know his behavior is not acceptable.
If worse comes to worse, “It’s better to be alone than in bad company.” Or so I heard from the movie Big Momma’s House 3. Anyway, don’t beat yourself about it. He may come around later but if he doesn’t, don’t let it bring you down too much.
Just, tell your thoughts to him, in a relaxed way explain that you don’t like when he "blablabla"
because one of the “things” that happen to you with your disease is that you can’t decide properly, or you can’t act under pressure.
I hope it helps!
Thanks for the replies, guys.
I will definitely be letting him know that I can’t tolerate his behaviour anymore, but I’ll give him a few days to calm down first.
Also… I need to find a way to say it without hurting his feelings or enraging him further.
I guess I should spend the next few days on figuring that out.
He’s one of my best friends, and I do care for him.