How to make peace with my bad evenings?

Cause you know, I really felt something very good today again for some half an hour… In general, my days are better, yeap. I lived for years with no positive emotions (emotional withdrawal), but in the evenings, I remain still bad :confused: … Its been soo long, that I was ill… And its not just a depression this… Its a confused thinking in my illness. Ads cant help here. I should remain on Zyprexa and continue the battle…
But I still anguish about my future, I overthink a lot too I guess…I also become emotionally and intellectually very dumb still in the evenings…
Does this risk to get better too? Should I be patient?
You know, I had a friend just with an anxiety disorder, who got better after an year on Zyprexa… Me, being ill since kid, ill probably need more than this, yes… The docs doesn’t lie I guess on the fact, that ill need years to recover… But I cant wait ten years, nope…
Its been two years on the Zyprexa without switching and I start to feel something just now… Terrible… But its hard to heal a dead thinking, the emotions too…
Do you support me to be patient? Gosh, tell me I can do it in two years, not in ten?.. This should work faster, no matter the illness of whole my life?..
I guess I still feel guilt to be so passive…yeap. Do your meds worked after years too?

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I’m just learning to express emotions now and,yup, they’re all negative. I have to justify myself by assuring people that it is because I’m in pain and nothing personal. I used to fake positive emotions so some people don’t understand that I am being more real now, though negative. Positive emotions will come once I have drained the pain. Like you, I have to cultivate patience.


I think you should talk to your pdoc. Maybe you need an AD or something done to help you feel better.

I see. Yeah, you try to change as me :slight_smile:
But I am a bit the opposite… I was very negative in the past, always complaining to everybody and now I try at least to fake positive emotions. In the hope, that this will move my brain and it will get used and maybe provoke positive emotions… I believe, that I remained with no positive emotions for years, this is tough…
Do you feel fine though sometimes, chordy? Me, I went chronical so not really. I’ll see if this can change. I was out once again, but for a few :confused: … I am scared ill put decades to recover, idk…

Try this

It’s done wonders for me.

There’s a discussion about it here

This is precisley why i bugger off to bed early about 5-6pm. I have bad evenings. I get more done in the early hours.

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Oki doki, ever, thanks.
Tbh, I also find, that my anxiety and paranoia are an obstacle to feel emotions… I often feel even pain inside me by anxiety and paranoia… I guess this is not the best to be emotion free and in joy, lol, don’t you find? :confused:

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That supplement helped greatly with my anxiety.

To me, there’s a difference between complaining and having the strength to get angry. That is why I called it faking good or bad feelings. It’s just like being an actor. It requires strength and a willingness to take a risk to have real anger to the person you are really angry at. Otherwise it is just expressing our neurotic frustration with life.

What did you do today?

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