Ok to cut a long story short …I have been devoid of Sex over the past few months. There was a girl I was in a relationship with but she ended up having it with someone else and now its over between us.(she says she dosent have time). The trouble is I do not want to Masturbate cause I hate it but then having no sexual partner means that I have to get rid of the sexual energy somewhere…and so most times I have to Masturbate and release that energy.
I dont really watch porn and I completely hate it since that is not real life and sex is not done that way.
Can anyone suggest me ideas to overcome this problem?. Please dont tell me to pay for sex- I wont go there…
Before I (hopefully) find a partner can anyone tell me how to avoid this ? (Masturbation).
[quote=“saurav, post:1, topic:35075”]
The trouble is I do not want to Masturbate cause I hate it
[/quote]I look at self-pleasure as an amoral action. If God didn’t want me to utilize such a practice, then He should have made sure I didn’t have my foreskin cut off as a baby - so that I could pursue an “all natural” route to sexuality, the original, uncircumsized nature.
Orthodox religious teachings are to blame for creating stigma about masturbation. I’d learn to let go of those old feelings if I were you, because there is absolutely NO other way to “release” sexual energies.
This is so true…you can never ever let go without masturbation etc. The “Release” has to happen.
Though according to me Pornography is pretty disgusting. Most Porn is “Made Up” and does not signify any intimacy between the actors. What makes is even bad is that a few of them do it sans their liking.
I only fantasize about the Sex I have had in real life and live it over again.
One cannot truly live without Sex and/or Masturbation.
The only certain way I can think of is avoid any contact with the opposite sex as far as possible. So you dont get intimate with anyone and that way you can try and stay away from masturbation. Which is why I feel the Monks and the Clergy do a pretty good job at that by being away from attraction.
First of all - the medical research shows that masturbation is generally healthy and helpful to people, but there is also (it seems) some benefits to not masterbating - so probably best to take time off occasionally - some reading:
and
But the way to avoid the need to do it - for whatever reason you have, the best thing would be for you to get treatment for your paranoid delusional disorder / psychosis - and then you’ll be in a good position to get back in a relationship with a girl, which is what you really want.
Its going to be really hard for you to develop a relationship with girls if you’re frequently thinking you’re getting injected. And I’m sure that paranoid delusion will spread to other areas of your life over time. People don’t stay paranoid about just one thing - but typically get paranoid about all sorts of things.
First you think people are injecting you, then (if you’re dating) you’ll start thinking (wrongly) that your girlfriend is cheating on your or something - which will end up driving the girl away from you - because who wants to hang out with someone who is always accusing you wrongly of things.
Great to hear. Are you seeing a psychologist or therapist or doctor?
Try to avoid stress, as thats what will trigger the delusions again. In fact you might try to identify the triggers for you from your past experiences of delusions around injections.
What happened or what environment were you in just before you started getting paranoid about injections again???
cant discuss much, lets just say that was in some trouble. Issue actually is getting slightly better now.
Stress was the trigger for me. Absolutely, have been meeting a Therapist since the past 2-3 months and have been intensely into it (almost everyday) in sessions.
Thats great news. Do you like the therapist? Just for other people’s benefit - for those who don’t go to therapy - what do you guys talk about, how do the person work with you?
Firstly she went over my entire life history. Family history - again dealing with relationships with my parents and siblings etc. Was asked of any specific events you remember in your childhood – like insults, abuses. Asked about personalities of my parents.
Personality assessment - As to what type of personality I had. Did multiple tests on it. Also an IQ test. Also questioning sessions in which my personality was assessed and made apparent. Depending on that she could relate to my relationships with others - family and friends.
From these 2 she was able to make an assessment about relationship between me and my family. Based on that she could give her inputs as to what caused the trouble and what could be the solutions for the past and current issues.
Then she talked about my personal life and the problems concerning that. She used to listen patiently and tried understanding all aspects of that personal situation.
For my delusions - she suggested Socratic questioning - as to reason out and investigate logically the delusions. From that questioning check if the delusions are probable and/or not probable. Based on the investigation - narrow down the possibility of the delusion.
Once making sure that the delusion was not real - work on the Emotions concerning that. Firstly she asked me to be sure to avoid critical emotions - ones that got me Hospitalized. Once I gained control over that (and by that made sure I wasn’t being hospitalized again) she made me gain control by trying to ignore and/or overlook and basically not trying to react/respond to rudeness and things that I dont like.
Her main approach towards me was a personal touch and she also did like me a lot. She talked an enormous lot about her life which gave us a lot of personal bonding and a friendly atmosphere.
Apart from that - we did and also do a lot of Meditation - repeating almost every 2-3 days- basically Mindfulness based cognitive therapy.
yea, i see masturbation as better than using a girl im not on the same page with. its frustrating to me too… but its not wrong to masturbate. i used to think it was shameful from religious pressure but i dont anymore. so i choose being alone rather than choosing the wrong woman and i sleep better
. I cant imagine my life with 1 person
