How severe does your psychosis become?
I become so delusional and paranoid that I lose all insight completely.
I will also experience visual and auditory hallucinations.
I enter into a different plane of existence.
A horrifying dark world where everyone is my enemy.
I experienced a couple of psychotic breaks last in 2016
I had to be involuntarily hospitalized twice for a total of 5 weeks.
It began when I was switched over to a different antipsychotic
How mild or severe is your psychosis at it’s worst?
Ive been psychotic most of the last ten years. Ive never really gotten a break so i just live with it. When its really bad i live in that world you describe.. i wish i could come out of it
I’ve been committed a lot. Lots of state hospital long stays even and regular psych ward at hospitals too. It gets bad. Sorry you have this struggle too @Wave
I’m in a psychosis right now . Not people person today. People around here think they’re authority and God. Get well don’t like you sitting outside. Got to name call you. I’m answering your question voice. ■■■■
When i relapse totally (aside from every-day Voices), i tend to get grandiose delusions and command hallucinations. I’ve never actually hurt anyone else but I’ve done some fairly serious self harm. One of the reasons i don’t work is that i average 3 hospital stays a year, and the last one lasted a month, and no employer would tolerate that.
Looking back, with hindsight, I was much more ill from my late teens to my mid 20s than I have been since then. Stress and fear can ramp up the irrationality and inability to think well. I can get verbally aggressive at such times. A major factor in such stress induced ‘meltdowns’ in Essex was a mental health team that treated me very badly.
I’m under a much better mental health team now , and in the just over 7.5 years I’ve been here I’ve not experienced anywhere near the stress induced irrationality and verbal aggressiveness I experienced in Essex.
I’m somewhat out of touch with reality. I started having audio hallucinations in 2014 and was finally medicated in 2020. It’s because I wasn’t making sense anymore that my mom said to talk to the psychiatrist.
I lose insight and have severe visuals and some voices. On meds I still have them but I can ignore them. I just have to keep busy because when my mind is idle it strikes.
I haven’t had one in over five years. I used to be in and out all the time, mostly paranoia or thinking people were out to get me. I doubt I’ll have another one unless something goes really rough IRL like the death of someone close.
When I’m psychotic I’m pretty peaceful. I suffer in my head by myself and I don’t take it out on anybody else or act out. When I first got sick at age 19 I was at Soteria House for a year. I almost got in a couple fights but I mainly just went through the mental agony and endured. I partied a little while I was there. After a year there I got put in the long term hospital. I was in there 8 months and kept to myself. I got drunk once on a weekend pass at a small party with my parents but that’s the only time I drank the entire time. During the 8 months I was in the hospital I caused zero trouble except for literally once, when a guy convinced me to be a lookout for him when he stole some coffee from the kitchen.
I suffered a lot when I was in the hospital but kept a low profile. I often went on weekend passes to spend the weekend with my parents and at one point they made friends with the couple across the hall in their apartments and we hung out with them and went to poetry readings or played tennis or went over the couples apartment for dinner.
The mans wife had a sister who was kind of cute and I guess she liked me and wanted to visit me in the hospital but my parents were afraid she was going to have sex with me so they didn’t let her visit. My loss. I thought she was going to have sex with me too and I never forgave my parents for that. I just get paranoid during psychosis but I act well enough where I can go out to eat or to movies or parties and no one looks twice at me.
Nobody’s proven that psychotic breaks cause brain damage. Some have a theory but nothing has been proven. A lot of us get remarkably better. No one can tell I was ever sick now, but at one point in my distant past I was punching walls and screaming at neighbors.
When I had psychotic episodes before I was on meds I was evil and had evil thoughts of hurting others and myself mainly thoughts to hurt others and I thought the whole world was against me