My delusion is SO FAR from anything I would EVER come up with on my own that it’s hard not to believe someone else (or else’s) aren’t pumping this crap into my head. I was never really religious before nor did I take serious offense to religions and yet part of my delusion is that I have abolished religion. I have never had a serious interest in brain studies (found it fascinating along with many other things but no biggee) but believe I am part of a brain study. Every day I am like “I believe it… no, I don’t… yes, I do… no, I don’t” It’s going away but still hanging on and I have these weird ideas. The details (body implants, camera in the eye, super powers) of my delusion are so FAR OUT that it’s super hard to believe that my brain came up with it. Other people must be in play here. You would think a delusion would at least match my hobbies and interests but no…
I wish the F**ker would just go away and stay gone. Sheeesh
How did your delusions start? I know they came on very suddenly for you, but did they appear fully formed, or did you notice some things were off in your environment and then “realize” what was going on? What was the time leading up to your break like?
My delusions are like Occam’s Razor gone haywire, like everything in my world has been filtered through the #1 natural law: everything is my fault.
My first two delusions (I was a demon, I was being monitored by the government) were pretty run of the mill. My most recent one, that I killed my cat in a variety of ways and needed to get another cat and treat it perfectly in order to convince my first cat to come back to life, was odd.
My cat died of kidney failure at 19 years of age. But I believed that I poisoned him, ran over him with a car, allowed him to be savaged by coyotes, etc, etc, etc, all at the same time, like I had killed him in a thousand different realities.
The overriding theme was that he was now very angry at me and I had to prove to him that I was sorry and had learned my lesson by getting this other cat. If I did everything perfectly, he would forgive me and come back. Whenever anything went wrong with the new cat (and trust me, she’s a handful) I would go straight over the edge into nonfunctionality.
My oddest delusion was that I had a brother who was given up for adoption, and he moved out to LA and got into film production. He was going to come back for me and take me to make movies with him. I snuck out to “meet” him at various places around town, and I was never deterred when he failed to show up. It all started when I saw an actor on TV that looked very similar to my siblings and I.
They gradually became more and more bizarre, but nothing like what people have described on here. For me i was delusional in the moment, after stabilizing on meds I was rational to the extreme.
Far enough out to be real by no doubt, and far enough real to be perceived as delusions without doubt.
Way back in my younger days, you would see science fiction TV shows that have people talking to computers and computers talking back and also having flat screen monitors. But all of these things seemed ridiculous because it seemed simply too complex to be real.
But right now I am speaking to my computer and it is turning my speech into text and I’m looking at a flat screen monitor which seemed in the past to be something absolutely ridiculous, since it was obvious back then that such a thing clearly could not be created.
Thus what is said to be a delusion today, may not be defined as a delusion in the distant future.
@Rhubot
Nothing really led up to it. Well…that’s not true. I had lost my job and home and was staying in a shelter but had never had anything other than some depression. NO psychosis or anything even close and I was in my mid 40’s. I was still optimistic that I could get it together. For about a month before my first episode, I felt like I was being watched but blew it off. When I broke it was sudden but I didn’t get the ‘full story’. They broke it to me in waves. Initially, I knew I was part of a brain study and had been cured of depression and that “they” had access to my brain. I also knew the study was over and I would be going ‘home’ now. Then it grew to that I had been trained subconsciously over the last 10 years and knew martial arts. foreign languages, medicine and physics (among other things). Then it grew to I had a Savant-like gift of knowing it all and being able to do it all (as opposed to training). Then it grew to because of all the above I was the Savior and had abolished religion (ironic, I know) in my other life. Then it grew to that I had a gift, was part of a study, was the Savior etc. but that I had helped conceive of the study in the first place and had been hypnotized to forget. It’s like telling me I am the (scientific) Savior and can do anything would be to much so they broke it too me slow. And it WOULD have been too much. And here I sit
I have a gift whereby I am connected to Collective Consciousness more so than any other human and this yields me the gift of all skills and all knowledge. My gift came on suddenly 10 or 15 years ago.To benefit the world, I wanted to do an extensive human brain stress study using my own brain. We installed a camera in my eye, microphones in my ears (that can speak directly to my subconscious) and monitoring equipment in my brain and body. My fake world was set up and once it was ready to go I was hypnotized (via the equipment) to forget my gift and the study. I went through my very stressful life the last 10 years with my actions and decisions being influenced and oblivious to the study. In my ‘other’ life; I teach meditation, brain training and wellness along with the fact that there is no Supreme Being, only Collective Consciousness. Call it God if you wish. I also teach any subject anyone wants to learn. “They” have given me periods of time with which to remember and I have lived a completely other life as my ‘true’ self. They then hypnotize me again and back to ‘this’ life I go. That’s all possible because of my fake world and nobody saying anything to me. Other than that I have had a few fleeting, related delusions that come and go but that’s the big Kahuna (sp?) that just stays.
There is no correlation whatsoever with my life and my delusion. None.The closest I could reach is that I was stressed ,in general, and went psychotic because of that. My delusion baffles me completely. Where the hell did all THAT come from? I keep hoping it will go away completely. It’s getting better.
Do I win some kind of prize? Cake maybe? For most bizarre f’ing shyt on this site
I thought people were trying to get me to kill myself. I bought a .22 auto handgun. My reasoning was that when they saw I wasn’t going to kill myself they would send somebody after me.
I tried getting myself arrested by the campus police by telling them I cheated to get into the university I was at so that I wouldn’t have to commit suicide quickly or else end up in hell when I died. I also thought I had started ww3. They sent me to a psychologist who sent me to the mental hospital. I then got diagnosed with schizophrenia and told my family about it and was sent home with my classes cancelled and a prescription. I also thought that God and angels and demons were talking to me whilst I thought the university was conducting an experiment on me to test whether telepathy is real or not.
That’s interesting. I believe that my study is headquartered at the University of Washington Medical Center (I live in Seattle) and that’s where all the researchers that talk to my brain hang out.
When I was younger, I was convinced that the reason so many terrible things happened to me was that God was trying to get me to kill myself. Eventually, this evolved, and the reason was that I was a demonic creature who sucked the good from the world and drained the life force from anyone who was close to me. I don’t know if that qualifies as strange, though. It’s pretty standard for a delusion.
Some of my delusions were brief and not very deep but others I carried for YEARS and they were mind bogglingly complex. The amount of details I created to explain everything was ridiculous. I read through my old journals and half the time I have no idea what I was talking about. When my parents found my journals they admitted they thought I was writing a story at first.
Not sure what the weirdest one was though, they were all pretty…out there
My delusions were very far out, but I don’t think others have planted them into my brain.
My most weird fear is a terror of butterflies. I thought I’d go to hell and my soul was dead and prayed endlessly whether my soul could still be made alive. Right after praying I had this dream with a dead butterfly symbolizing a dead soul. From that moment on I noticed all sort of signs of butterflies… on postcards, houses, the doors of the hypnotherapist, my underwear, a t-shirt. I’m a bit over it, but I’m still a bit triggered/startled whenever I see a butterfly symbol. I don’t know of anyone with a fear of butterflies
When I was delusional, I was first euphoric. I believed I was a gazillionaire and that the whole world wanted me to be reunited with a woman I had broke up with nine years before. My belief system turned to horror and horrible imaginings about the devil later on and I have PTSD because of the paranoid delusions I had later. Glad it’s all over.
