Either I missed the topic or we don’t have one right now:
Lets share some of the things we thought were the case when it wasn’t.
I used to believe the government was gassing my old neighborhood in order to make people there lose their mind. It was a government test that they wouldn’t tell anyone. I really believed that was the case, I came up with it and stuck with it.
I also believed that the government was after me, since I had moved I thought they were after me because I (as I thought) was onto them, that I was going to expose them.
Became extremely paranoid and such over this, I began thinking that people who were around me were hired by the government to interrogate me so they can get more information on me.
mine were all put in using torture and rape to make me look like a schiz’ so that people wouldn’t believe my story of being raped by some one famous when i was a kid. but i know what the mercenaries look like and they can be traced so i’m not too worried. if anything happens to me before i go to the police then there’s nothing i can do but i’m hoping that’s not the case. anyway, for your entertainment, here they are.
ermmmm…first one in 2000. that the supposed alien spaceship that landed in roswell in 1947 was in actual fact a space/time ship of my design…lol…funnily enough i don’t think they sell those at tesco. they got it from a book i read by whitley streiber about roswell. under interrogation of course. probably a few years before it surfaced in my mind.
the next was some ■■■■ about a time travel trial where loads of people had lost children backwards because of the c.i.a/fbi/mi6. you name them, they had all lost children. i know this is shite because i checked the facts afterward.
the next was a typical capgras delusion specifically designed to get me diagnosed as a schizophrenic so that i couldn’t testify against my rapists. nill points coz it didn’t last longer than about a month.
the next focused on yet another time travel trial where and i quote “lied on the stand!” and ended up being the darling of the paperazzi and television and married supposedly to dwight yorke the football player and having twins…needless to say i didn’t actually believe in any of this…it was just what the voices told me.
next we have the death one where i would e made solid as a ghost and kept prisoner and fed rotten food, burned alive, cut up with chainsaws…you name it they were gonna do it. obviously it’s a complete unknown so i have to admit i fell for it.
the next was that everybody i knew and didn’t know was against me telepathically and i was universally hated. needless to say, that one didn’t last long either.
now we’re on the same ■■■■■■■■ about a time travel trial. the death one again. the loss of children one again backwards. being universally hated again…oh and that i’m going to get beaten and raped every day by an out of body personality if i persue this. you read it here first folks. if it happens you’ll know i’ve been tortured into this… simply because i got raped by someone famous when i was a kid and it was covered up. xxx
Everybody is telepathic. They’re all perfectly straight I had to stop being bicurious and open. Or had to straighten out to their standards if I wanted them to stop criticizing my every move telepathically. Had to back away from the philosophy of universal bisexuality. Which after the excitement died I happily did so. It’d be a totally different world if everyone were gay. Live and learn that’s my motto. At least I’ve thought through all the potentials.
From 5-12 I believed I was a werewolf princess. I had an entire world created in my head. I told all of my friends and my siblings about it, who just saw it as a fun game. I attribute this delusion to my constant fear as a child, believing I was a werewolf made me feel powerful and braver.
From 13-15 I switched delusions constantly. Most had to do with either trying to explain bizarre coincidences or patterns I noticed in my life or me being special in some way, due to my loneliness and being somewhat of a social outcast. (Believing two angels controlled everything in my life, one in charge of good events and one of bad, believing I was from an alternate dimension and trapped here, believing I was God, etc. Basically my entire life I have not felt human. Some people feel like they were born the wrong gender. I feel like I shouldn’t even be here. This body and life feels so strange to me.)
From 15-16 I believed I was the next messiah. I became horribly paranoid due to my anxiety at the time and the demon attacks which had begun to occur. I believed that the devil was going to kidnap me and take me to Hell if I let myself be alone. There he would rape me and impregnate me with a half god half devil child who would become the antichrist. I slept with my brother almost every night for fear of being taken. I would see messages in the clouds, like “I SEE YOU” or “I LOVE YOU” or “I’M COMING” or I’d see faces or the devil. I started thinking that the clouds were the devil’s minions and that they would take me to Hell if I went outside alone. I hardly slept. It was a beyond awful period in my life. Everywhere I went I thought I saw the devil in the corner of my eye.
I was so scared I told one of my close friends about it, and for a short while she believed me and was there for me, before realizing I was delusional after I didn’t go missing, and she told me I should get help. I got in a huge fight with her and lost her as a friend but I did start to wonder why exactly I hadn’t been taken any of the times I was sure I would. That’s when I first started to realize I experienced delusions.
Now that I am self-aware, I have only experienced 2 delusions from 16-19, which were I was going to be the mother of the antichrist, minus the devil kidnapping and rape (I had really weird dreams…an angel came to me TWICE…I blame them) and that the apocalypse was coming and I had been trained my entire life through my dreams to be a warrior in it and help people survive.
That’s basically my entire history. The delusions only became frightening once I started experiencing high amounts of anxiety in my life. Before then they were just very engaging and distracting.
For a while I thought I had some sort of God given power. Then I thought I was some sort of Angel sent from Heaven. Then I straight up thought I was a God.
I thought God might be trying to communicate with me through license plate numbers. I tested the theory but couldn’t figure out whether it was true or not. The doctor told me I have weird thoughts sometimes, not so much outright delusions.
They put in me that my blood was being drained from my legs by the chap in the backseat. My legs were in agony from walking so long. They can do that to a person, make them think things.
Another that happened, which was only them in my head, was that part of me was placed inside an object and it was going to be used to control me in bad ways. Once again it was just them in my head, they can do that to a person.
When it is happening there is nothing you can do, you can’t just choose to not listen, they just put it in there and then it’s in there.
Another one was when the cop found me on the beach after seeing pan and he told me to make my way home. So i was leaving the area and my mind began to think as i entered the dark forest that mephisto was there with me, i don’t even know who that is and have never read anything about it. It was just them in my head though, they can do that to a person.
So when i made it to the beach at first there was a bridge that i wanted to cross. Except they were screwing with my head and in my mind the bridge was unfinished, half way across you met your fate and it was either up or down for eternity. It was so strange having them put this information in my mind. Like i said you can’t just choose to not believe it, it’s information that is just put in there and then it’s just in there, no different than the information that you are on the internet right now, it’s just in there.
Sometimes they would just say things to me though instead of putting something in my head. At one point they began telling me they were going to torture me forever. Having very little experience and not even being aware that there are those that can speak within your mind i kind of thought “maybe it’s true”. Somebody just shows up in your mind terrifying you you just kind of think “maybe it’s true” you know. This instance though it wasn’t exactly a delusion becaue they were saying it to me and not really putting information in me but i did think just for a sec “maybe it’s true.”
And then during my second psychosis a guy began yelling at me to “wake up! just wake up!” and the entire room turned red, it just acquired a red tint everywhere when he said that, and i thought “huh? did i wake up?” because of the timing. Yeah, they can do that. So when they heard him say that to me they made me see red as if it were happening.
I thought Jesus would posess my body and I would become him
I thought everyone would die if they went into my brothers room due to severe oppression.
I thought demons needed to be vomited from my body.
I thought I was communicating with aliens that had access to the radio frequency in my head
I would experience electric bolts of power surge through my body so that my body could handle more power.
I thought when my family was crying seeing I had totally lost my mind, I that they were being healed when they were crying. (this was probably the most traumatic one for me)
One of them…
For while. In the world of Schizophrenia. My other half (Another me that lives in this, schizophrenia world) apparently killed someone in the family. They decided to come after me for vengeance. The voices combined my reality nearly perfect. The things they would say would happen. And that got me in the believing side of it all. I decided I’d best to get out. And— Well… I chose to stay away from my family and avoid any further contact. Haven’t seen anyone for about two, four months? I’m not too sure.
Of course over time I came to speak with them. Ask how there doing and they said fine. They ask me how I was doing. Told them… I was scared. After that my father wanted me to see a doctor and I decided I’ll go.
Thus. I’m here today. Realizing a bit more it was— In the Schizophrenia world. Not mine.
I believed people were talking to me through advertisements i received in my email box. Even now that I know it wasnt real its hard to shake some of the emotions I had felt in association with these letters.
For years I was sure that everyone was a kidnapper and would kidnap my younger siblings. I’ve done some very silly things trying to thwart kidnappers. I do still have problems with this one. I am always ready to fight kidnappers.
When I think of how every decision I made, every move I made was all to thwart kidnappers… I was consumed by this one.
I also thought the universe was paving the way for me to become a Zen Master and I would be the one to help people find peace and serenity.
I used to think that the wind and sometimes the waves would tell me what was going to happen in the future.
There are a lot of little ones I’ve fought off before they grabbed deep hold…
My delusions were based on things I had remembered…literally…as if they were memories of things I had done. These came to me when I was 24 and living in a communal setting out in the country. I was having flashbacks of memories that had really happened to me except that along with these real memories came false memories…a whole slew of them…all tied together and telling a crazy story with a consistent plot and all.
These false memories became the basis for my delusional beliefs…a few of which were:
That I had been kidnapped, raped and tortured in a warehouse outside NYC.
I had stowed away on a salt freighter heading to Libya where I met Ghadafi
I had gone on tour with an aspiring musician named Andrew Bird
I spent my 14th birthday learning to fly an F-16 fighter jet
I had been married to the granddaughter of a Nazi tank commander and inherited a half million dollars worth of Nazi gold which was put towards the reconstruction of an experimental German weapon which was then sold to Al Qeada operatives to be used to hit the Pentagon…
I was telepathic
I had been shot in the head by my kidnappers and resurrected by Satan resulting in a “live me” and a “dead me” running around.
There had been close to a hundred songs written about me
My psychiatrist had joined a gang of sadist pedophile MDMA chemists and had me sell drugs for him as well as tried to pimp me out to first men and when I refused, older women.
I had been given an illegal lobotomy
I had been forced to inhale a chemical that was supposed to make me passive but too much of which caused a severe psychological fracture
This chemical was being secretly used on underage kids considered “rapists” so to come forward about it I would have been considered a rapist had they even known about this secret psychiatric operation
For me, right now I’m going through two thoughts: 1. That God will turn me into another person or an animal if I don’t stop sinning and 2. That I may have erased the past by a spell or prayer. It all started in late 2016 will I was still working. I started feeling guilty of all the things I’ve done in the past, and I prayed to God in my dad’s bedroom closet (three times at the most) to take me back in time or to turn back the clock so I could rectify the mistakes I made. I started having explosive episodes of feeling like I should have been aborted/never born, that I was a horrible person and that my life had no purpose. I started obsessing over how I should have and should continue to live my life. I started looking for ways to change the past on my own with astral projection being the main method, although for the first time, I wasn’t able to relax to begin learning how to so I gave up. I have walked out of about 5 jobs since this had happened. I have gone to the mental health clinic twice because of cutting and explosive behavior. Between the end of 2016 on through 2017 and almost the end of 2018, I have had different thoughts of feeling guilty for asking God to change the past and want to accept what I have done, but I had a thought that maybe He did it as a punishment (due to someone on the web) saying that it was blasphemy to ask Him such things and that I was testing Him by doing that. Also, that astral projection is not of God as well and that frightened me too. So all through 2017, I constantly worried that I had and sometimes situations in life made it seem that way ex. someone not remembering a certain memory that I remembered quite well happening. I started to talk to some people that used to be in my life like my ex boyfriend for example, and he still remembered me and the things we did. But t still didn’t satisfy me. Even though the memories were still in my head, I believed God would tell me when the day of judgement arrived, that He would tell me that He had changed the past and that you have lived a lie this whole time. What you thought was your life (originally) is no more due to that prayer I made, and send me to hell, even though I still had memory of it. (I have a pretty good memory) I have been watching videos on YouTube of God, religion, occult, conspiracy theories and different views that of the mainstream. It hasn’t effected me all that much, but I started looking more into videos and searching the occult and how it is believed that the occult permeates in a lot of places i.e. the government and Hollywood. While I was reading and trying to understand, I had come across some sites that said that practioners use marijuana when meditating/ that scared me into believing what if I had smoked marijuana and was able to reach a state of relaxation and demons were able to enter me because I was essentially vulnerable to their whim? People who were anti-marijuana believed that demons could enter you if you were drunk or stoned. It terrified me to my very core and it made me regret ever getting stoned or into a drunken state.
I started reading more on the occult and why God believes it is evil. (I had never known it was bad to God. I always thought there was good and bad magick) I then started believing that what if I had performed magick spells and didn’t realize I had changed/erased the past from existence? (I know that I haven’t. I have no idea what to do and how to begin, and I don’t want to anyway, but sometimes I think I do and it scares me to death) so I started obsessing about that and began looking at spells on how to do that, just to make sure I didn’t cast a spell like that and erase my life from 2016 back to 1990. In about the middle of 2018, there were a few nights I was doing just that, going back and forth between making sure there were not many spells on changing/deleting the past, (there weren’t; most people believe it isn’t possible and people who do supposedly have a spell for that are charlatans.) to conspiracy theories to online sermons. It was late at night, and I couldn’t sleep a wink. I had some pot by my bed and decided to smoke a little herb little by little just to calm myself down and try to sleep. (marijuana has for the most part helped me sleep. Sometimes it helps me relax, but I’ve has some terrible highs that seemed to last forever.) It helped somewhat, but I was still freaked and wanted to continue reading to help ease the thoughts swirling in my head. (It hasn’t worked all that well.) Now that I have started seeking out God, it seems like the devil is on my tail. I’ve talked to family and my pastor at church, but they don’t really believe it’s demonic oppression. I’ve had so many thoughts in my head after all this, I feel like I’m going insane!! I’ve always been a pretty paranoid person filled with worry and anxiety, but this just takes the cake for me. It all seems too coincidental that ever since I started reading up on spirituality and the like, I’m being targeted by the devil and his minions. I don’t really feel possessed, although I’ve thought that, it just feels more like oppressive spirits rather than a posession. I’ve also obsessed about what disorder I may have and honestly I feel like it may be some sort of schizo disorder but I’m not sure. Sorry for the long post…
