i cant. im always thinking about where i went wrong and revisiting every bad thing ive done. feel like im punishing myself for everything ive done even when i am not aware of it. some things about this is good tho because i feel like some people arent able to think about things the way they dont want to. even when i feel like im right about something or i want to blame someone for something i think about how theres a possibility its just me and things are the opposite of what i thought but maybe (how i imagine many people are) i was only able to see things from my own perspective in the moment (biased).
idk where im going with this now i may be just rambling been noticing this for a while now i start thinking about one thing and by the time i can put the words together it doesnt match with what i feel like im trying to say so i try to make more sense of stuff but really i think no one will ever understand the feeling. i feel like if anyone could completely understand how i feel than theyd understand why i want to die sometimes and maybe see that if someone else was in my shoes theyd feel the same as suicide is not always just irrational thinking and sometimes even when you weigh out the good and bad and even give it time and try to improve mental conditions etc. to see if it will get rid of the feeling it still seems reasonable
Well @cigarino, sometimes i have trouble forgiving myself and moving on, but it is essential that you can do this. Otherwise, things just continue to build up over time, leading to depression. It is important that you can look back at your decisions or actions and accept them for what they are. You need to accept that, no matter what you do in life, you are always going to make mistakes. It is part of being human. So it is essential to learn from your errors, adjust your behaviour or beliefs, and move on.
Not too easily and it’s not too hard either. I have forgiven myself for binging like a thousand times and for terrible behaviour I just don’t know if others would forgive me
The five stages of greif: denial, anger, barganing, depression and acceptance. We all are said to expereince them differently, some multiple at the same time. You have to choose which stage youd like to experience then move on to either quesedillas or tacos
i don’t know where to start, but i wish to tell you quite a number of things for you to understand somethings here. loving people includes loving YOURSELF which not only others, as well as your own self. what you feel is what you feel, it is real but that doesn’t mean it reflects the real truths at hand. it’s ok to be emotional yet rational, both are true and real, and totally ok to be with at the same time. from my religion’s bible (i am a christian) stated that, “do onto others what you want others to do onto you”, which is true, but you missed out something for your part, which is ," do not expect what you did onto others, that they would do onto you".
many in this world lived by SUBJECTIVE truths, they do not care about OBJECTIVE truths. they believed those events before their very eyes and ears yet they do not question the real truths. even if you described it till the most fullest context and lively of whatever you want to tell them, in their minds they just don’t accept, they reject truths. what they FELT like it’s true, will be TRUTH to them, they will never accept REAL truths.
horrible truths and cruel truths are so hard to accept that the devil was created so that people can live with easy lies, because this lies are easy to accept. so watch how these people that rejected truths (valid for your case now) and let them continue to live with lies, because they are destined to befriend lies and the devil and are far from the real truths.
if you tried to save them, you will also be pulled in. so let them die spiritually with your eyes opened wided with heart harden take for these people. they deserve what they are doing for they reap what they sow. an analogy would be, the more you try to save people from drowning and doesn’t wish to grab onto the Life buoy with you swimming and aiding them yet they still wished to be drowned. you yourself would also be drowned just because your wishful thinking of helping someone that can’t be helped or doesn’t wished to help himself.
you did you part and gave them the chance, so you are blameless. just move on and find people that clicks with you, people who CORRECTS you yet not CHANGES you.
if you love someone that doesn’t deserved your love, then you would be the one who suffers, and no matter how much you tell the other party how much you love them, they would not believe and they would always question you, doubt you, test you, challenged you, which makes you feels even worst. so, my solution is to leave this kind of people as they are, for they are hopeless and destined to perish.
hope this helps to a certain extent , and lastly for all viewers, these words are for cigarino’s case, please do not totally accept this as this is case to case basis.
