Does having schizophrenia affect you from following your dreams and accomplishing your goals? Is so, how so?
It’s destroyed my goals. Low motivation, high social anxiety, a loss of enjoyment for things are all reasons for this. I think the APs are causing everything apart from the social anxiety.
Same here. But im afraid to go after my goals because im afraid people are going to bother me.
I never had a dream - only to die. With sz, this dream reached consciousness. Now, I just want a risk free life, safe from harm. So I can rest up and then a dream of life will appear.
Do you fear you will be harmed?
I was in The Academy of Art in San Francisco many years ago, in my early twenties. I accomplished one semester and did well, even with missing classes a lot. The second semester, about midway, I had a breakdown and just stopped going. I stopped doing anything. I never went back, but started on my journey of therapy. My dream of being a book illustrator, as well as being shown in galleries, was over at that point. I stumbled through many more years, but I got various jobs and survived ( I also got married to an abusive monster and had my son and got divorced, etc.)
My lofty dreams were impossible for me. But I work in special education as an assistant and I miss a lot of work days, but when I’m there I do my job well. I help people and make a difference, so my life isn’t wasted.
It’s enough to make a difference in just one other person’s life. We’re not all here to be celebrities, professors, doctors, etc. We all matter in our own ways. And, just surviving the horrors of sz is pretty good.
that’s beautiful @chordy
I was living the dream. Not anymore.
Yes, I fear harm all the time.
The crazy narrative messes my dreams around. I thought I was over the whole “love conquers all” meme but I’m back in that search for love after being triggered by something.
Before the triggering I was content with merely being in “strong like” of someone else, rather than outright love.
God, I feel so gross writing all that out.
sza took away a lot of my life especially my formative years. i lost my time and my identity to the disorder, im like… tentatively working towards accomplishing the goals i used to have before sza took over my life. i think ill make it there. i think living with schizophrenia really is just a lesson on acknowledging your personal limitations and making the best of what youve been given. i have bad social anxiety and my positive symptoms used to make it impossible for me to leave the house safely, but now after therapy and meds i know how to use grounding techniques and how to recognize my triggers. i still have to hold back on things, im not a trusting person, im not very social, anxiety and depression can get me really hard but i always keep in mind im getting better every day. i still have setbacks but i just have to accept that this is my life and keep going forward even if its at a slower pace than others… and if there are certain things i may not ever be able to do thats okay too, im at peace with that.
I have goals but no dreams. When I got of high school I had no dreams of anything. I partied and got a string of schlocky jobs that I never lasted more than three months at but they kept gas in my car and paid for beer and pot.
Then at 19 came schizophrenia and I did my share of suffering for more than two years and eventually I got a job and I didn’t have any lofty goals besides staying employed, whether it was washing dishes, unloading trucks, working in a warehouse or whatever.
But I hope it’s not too late for this but I want to make a difference in the world. I want to do something positive that impacts people, helps people, or maybe do something that changes the world in a positive way. So I guess I do have dreams.
I am a thorn in some peoples eyes. So they labeled me sz and forced medication treatment. Its political, i am on mindbending drugs. I won’t disclose more. The psychiatry i ve been treated closed.
Unless your goal in life is to be a street sweeper it can completely destroy your ability to achieve anything unless you are incredibly lucky.
For what it’s worth you do have a positive impact on this world. Your story is very inspirational and relatable for anyone who struggles with mental health and substance abuse. You have seemed to find a certain level of peace in this world after many years of chaos, and that gives people like me hope that one day I’ll be able to find a certain level of peace as well.
it kills them with avolition
I always like hearing that I inspired someone, helped someone in some way or gave hope to someone, so thanks for bringing that up. I get treated like a king here, I love being here and the vast majority of you guys are cool and good people. I feel lucky I can help anyone and I learn a lot from you guys. You guys were an important part of me getting back on my feet after my mom died three years ago and I had a “fall” and I lost a lot of my life. I am forever grateful for the help and support I got when I needed it most.
Hey! It’s Christmas season! I’m allowed to
be sappy and sentimental!
I had dreams… schizophrenia made them all impossible.
I used to lament that sz cost me my dreams, but honestly… I didn’t really have any before its onset. I was content working as a department store cashier with no plans of trying anything else in life, and my spare time was entirely devoted to an eating disorder. I have actual dreams now that I’m past all that. Now whether they’re achievable remains to be seen, lol, but I guess it’s nice that they’re there.