I’m a very high functioning schizophrenic, so I tend do be more stable than how I was before. However, it’s rather my muscular dystrophy that brings me down.
I feel tired as ■■■■. Maybe it’s my APs too, but it’s hard to function with both conditions.
It doesn’t. I always dreamed of being locked up with 30 other crazy people in a psyche ward and shot in the butt with a syringe and being chained to a table by all four limbs and it came true. As I got older and wiser I started dreaming about being a crack addict and that dream came true too.
I got ill with sza just as I left school. I worked so hard in school to qualify for varsity then my sza struck and I never went.
Nowadays i still struggle with avolition - its a start-stop kind of life I’m living. I work when I am motivated and stop when I’m not. Today I managed to send off my book to a publisher and hoping it will be successful. (my book is about my journey with mental illness).
I still live my dreams, which is school and work, but things like travel alone make me really nervous. I think I’ll be able to do it eventually though.
LS! It did not affect my that much. At 61 I can look back on an interesting life. When I was 14,15,16 I hitchhiked like through England and to Paris. At 17 I wrote a paper on the Collected Works of Menno ter Braak and received the highest grade. At 20 I squattered mansions big villas in the Center of Amsterdam. At 22 I was given disability payments. At 40 I decided to work again and I have done ten years of research in Mental Health in Amsterdam, two years I got paid. Now At 61 I am one of the strongest in the gym. What is missing from my life is a lot of girlfriends, but you can not have everything.
Before i was more effective in reaching goals, more productive, more efficient…but clueless as to what i wanted. I was aiming for completely wrong and selfdestructive goals.
Now im much less good at achieving things, but at least im starting to realise what are the “right” goals for me.