How do you stop replaying your sad story?

Looking back on my life it has been very sad and lonely, filled with wasted time spent in depression, anxiety, delusions and psychosis. I realized too late that it was important to socialize because focusing on other people helps me stay present… Was the cause or reason for all of this to show me I needed people and experiences to fill the empty spaces…?

I have lived most of my teenage to young adult life in extreme isolation by self hatred, destroyed my brain with all kinds of drugs, wasting time talking to a schizo, being manipulated by schizos and wasting a lot of time in delusions relating to my time at university. I have met 1 very good friend through all of this… I have had some experiences that were very positive, especially my job which I had for a year where I was able to recover from my delusions…

I am replaying the sad story in my head when I am alone… It drives me to despair…
I am better now but if I decide to leave the planet in the future I will leave my great works of art, the mission God has called me to do…

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Isolation (being alone) is bad for everyone. So - definitely it sounds like you’re doing much better now. Your writing is very clear and you have a great deal of insight.

All I can say is that you seem to be on the right path now - which is a great accomplishment. We all make mistakes - and if all we do is dwell on those mistakes we’d be in big trouble. The way forward is to learn from those mistake and move on. There is a good series of videos I’ve watched that you might find helpful - here is one (the others can be found easily on Youtube):

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Isolation or negative relationships. Take your pick, everyone chooses wrong because there are no good choices to make.

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Hi,

I think that you sort of answered your own question as to how you could stop replaying what you called your “sad story” when you talked about focusing on other people. I think that getting involved with something that involves working on something bigger than yourself will likely help to get your mind more focused on something that doesn’t have to do so much with the depression, anxiety, and psychosis that you’ve struggled with. Sometimes people can accomplish this through the jobs that they work, but if they don’t, then there is the opportunity to do some meaningful volunteer work on the side.

I also wanted to say that I think it’s great that you can say that you’re better. Although you may no longer face the challenges of finding effective treatment for your mental illness and recovering from such illness, facing the challenges of daily life after living with a mental illness requires strength and courage. I wish you luck as you face these challenges.

shadow

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i always think of the people who have really hard lives, wheelchair bound, war torn areas, children whose parents have died of aids , extreme poverty, burns victims etc…etc…etc.
perspective is everything…
take care

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Personally, since I had no options, I just started some fresh new bloody miserable stories. The benefit was that at least I was not caught up within a small story that was spinning round and round over and over.

A story usually only goes on because you know damn well that others either don’t understand what you have been through by a long bloody shot, or they just don’t believe you. So, sometimes you just have to accept the fact that what’s in your head is way to big to fit into the heads of many others.

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I have a huge amount of guilt and shame in my heart because of this illness and who I was during it, and what I did to people who I do in fact cherish. When I am alone and it all starts replaying in my head, I am so ashamed, and I will get really agitated.

I try to get over it and not sit and dwell. One thing that has helped me get over it is actively trying to apologize and make amends to the family I’ve hurt. I’ve also stayed med compliant and keep myself on track.

There is nothing I can do about the past… (none of us can) … other then promise myself to never go back there. I will never hit that level of anger and hate. I will try and make sure I’m better from that point up.

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I keep replaying the same sad story about my past, not because I think I am unique, or that I am that sad. It seems like everyone has past abuse in their history these days. I tell that story because it is the best explanation for why I am the way I am. If it isn’t that, I don’t know what it is.

i lived to 30 in with my beutifull sad ill Mum passed, Theres no words, but i found away through, I appriciate life cause have lots interested in, you need to hold your self, and find anything that makes you happy

never left Mum had 2 choices and want to live, have my soul friend as my carer, i am lucky x

I find it interesting that I have been telling the same stories for the last (?)37 years, but it was only 2 days ago that they really heard what I’ve been saying all along.

It finally sunk in, finally.
like I had said it for the first time.
and to think all those years I wasted my breath on deaf ears.

what do you think their response was?

Why didn’t you tell me!

Since my story needs no futher explanaition,
it’s time,
to change
my broken record.