Schizophrenia.com

How do you let it out?


#1

How do you express yourselves? What form do you let your feelings take?

I wish I could draw well. My attempts at art are laughable at best. It still makes me feel better to do it though. A picture’s worth a thousand words after all.

I realized I also missed my last therapy session before break. Just completely slipped my mind. I will try to reschedule for next week. I hope my therapist isn’t worried…

Thank you all for your kind words on my last post. All I can do now is wait and see what my professor has to say. The best I can do is prepare myself to manage the consequences.

Here’s my edgy drawing I made to use myself feel better. Yeah it reeks of angst but whatever. Inspiration from Dr. Zen’ drawings of his experiences, ahaha. Sorry for bad lighting, roommate is asleep.

Anyways I’m going to bed now. I don’t necessarily feel any better but I’m resigned to my fate, and that’s as good as it’ll get right now. Good night everyone, sleep well.


#2

Last time I used to enjoy blogging.

Drawing is good. But I don’t know how to express myself through art.

Hope that you have had a good sleep when you read this.


#3

I used to write poems. Haiku only because are short. Here is an example:

Pieces of broken souls
Wandering and wandering
Forever longing

MadHatter


#4

I write in my journal. I used to do art, too, but inspiration left me ever since. I find writing very therapeutic - I can let all my feelings and swear words out and even make angry scribbles on the page if I need to. It helps a lot! :smile:


#5

Journal writing has always helped me too! Haha so much angry scribbling.


#6

Yeah I took up poetry when I didn’t have the time to spend writing stories. I have a notebook full of it.

Nice haiku!


#7

I used to draw but meds have killed my creativity.


#8

reminds me of an alien i met on planet santori… :rocket:
take care from well travelled :alien:


#9

My art

I also write science fiction

me powerlifting

Me being “highly intelligent”

These are my outlets, creativity, aggression, learning…and orgasms…and alcohol, tobacco and being the equivalent of a walking firearm- trained in hand to hand combat and very strong…I’m power-oriented, I get off on having power, physical power, achievements, overcoming challenges, ect…If I am told that I can’t do something or have something, I just feel challenged, then accomplishing it is a great source of pleasure for me. Like when I am told that I can’t do something, I just get irate.

The only people I listen to in regards of what I can and cannot do are my doctors, and my psychotherapist tells me that I could take it a little easier and not be a perfectionist. But then again, that is mainly about working out and getting pissed over making an A- instead of an A. He himself is an elitist to a degree and also arrogant like I am. He and I get along. I trust him and completely respect him, perhaps as much or even more than I respect myself.


#10

When I was growing up I had some intense anger that I didn’t dare express. I kind of recreated that situation in my adult life. (A huge part of that is not my fault.) It made me gamey and passive aggressive. I don’t like a lot of the things I do.


#11

The skulls are sooo cool. I love symbolism in art. I’m glad you have so many different outlets! You seem like you do so much in your life and I’m jealous, haha. I often feel like I can only do the bare minimum expected of a college student.

My drawing was meant to be a kind of genderless creature since I’m ambivalent to gender. (Not that I identify as anything else I’m totally comfortable being a girl, but in my dreams I seem to swap pretty evenly between male and female forms) The string attached to my neck that I’m holding is supposed to show that my head’s like a balloon and is always floating away so I have to keep a tight grip on it. The third eye is for things I see that others don’t. The gunk/spikes in the middle is there because that’s generally where my emotional pain is localized. Hand over mouth because I keep quiet about what I go through and don’t tell any friends or family for fear of being misunderstood/not believed. Hand over crotch because deeply insecure and confused over sexuality. The weights are reality, which keep me grounded but also trapped. I (tried, lol) to make the legs broken, because during episodes, functioning in day to day feels like walking on broken legs.

The demon, butterfly and horn represent the good/bad elements of the psychosis. (Butterfly=hope, fantasy, imagination, good voices, Demon=paranoia, delusions, bad voices,)The little man standing on my weight with the bullhorn (compared to the psychosis, which speaks through a musical instrument, thus is more appealing than harsh bullhorn) is life, half business and serious and half disorganized and messy, holding an infinite to-do list and shouting at me to get it done.

Where am I going is just a question I constantly ask myself, the future always looms over my head, as does the future of my mental/emotional health, wondering if it’ll ever completely stop being weird. It’s filled with question marks because I’m filled with questions that never seem to run out, haha.

Like I said, I like symbolic art, heh. Just wish I could draw better…


#12

I feel like human beings relive trauma and negativity in general over and over in one way or another until it’s finally dealt with and overcome. I hope you learn how to break the cycle.


#13

I play video games. Lots of video games. Particularly role-playing games with lots of choices and customization where I can do things I’d never be able to in real life like slay demons (though I guess that could be possible if I started hallucinating one day). Seriously, though, video games are my passion. I’ve put somewhere between 5,000 - 10,000 hours into playing them across my life and that’s an honest estimate. MMORPGs like World of Warcraft I’ve put over 1,000 hours into alone. A lot of people would probably say I’m addicted to them, but I think it’s a healthy addiction. It gives me something to put my time into, they’re stimulating so it keeps my brain working and feeling rewarded, and it makes it easier to stay away from things like drugs. Eventually I’d like to teach myself Japanese to play games that don’t get released in the states (and watch anime and read manga RAW). Apparently after 1000 hours you can be a pro at Japanese, and I’ve put that much time alone into WoW. I’d also like to try my hand at programming by learning a language like C++ or C#, but I still debate whether I’d like to do that or learn Japanese first.

This song’s basically about me :smile:


#14

I express myself with words, The Holy Spirit, feelings, thoughts, and Ideas

People are my biggest critiques of my art work,

Their also my Art Work


#15

i express myself mostly on the internet,on forums…I talk about schizophrenia,and football…


#16

I am a video game lover too. I play all the time to help myself. I love RPGs, shooters, stealth, Japanese stuff, you name it.

If anyone is on xbox live message me and we can be friends!