I am a journalist working on a piece about Art as a helpful tool for dealing with the difficulties of Schizophrenia. My father has a diagnose, and art is one of his major expressive outlets, as well as a space of relief. Through him I have experienced how healing a practice it can be, so I think writing about this can greatly help other patients as well as educate the public.
Please do let me know if you’re willing to speak with me about it or can think of someone who might. I would be happy to hear your or their story.
I use to do Art projects all the time when I was younger they would help slow my brain down and even calm down the voices, But now after taking medications for so long I can no longer draw, or paint… So now the closes thing to art I can do is Coloring in Adult Coloring books but that is even difficult for me now…
Words aren’t always easy for me, so if I can paint a vision or a feeling, it’s a way to express myself. When there’s a lot of noise inside my head, sometimes an angel will appear repeatedly in the same form over and over. I know I need to paint that image or it won’t go away. Once it’s done, the haunting sense if urgency leaves.
I can’t say writing began as a way to cope with the unusual thoughts / visions / voices, but it has been used as a coping mechanism. My hallucinatory experiences inform my writing. I have a very easy time with symbolism and metaphor. My memory is terrible, as is my focus, so keeping a semi-regular journal has been helpful, too.
But… I am not good at routines, so writing every day is a challenge for me, even though I do want to do it. My memory, as mentioned, is terrible, so I forget details of my projects over time, and then feel awful about it later when I notice those errors. I’m terrible at time management and when I get very involved in a project my self-care routines fall apart completely. It’s almost as if I have to choose between writing or being a healthy person.
The thought of finishing my current WIP is both tantalizing and terrifying, because I know, while writing the final third of the book, I am going to come completely undone. I want to write the story but I don’t know yet how to avoid that, and I don’t want to do that to my family.
“Falling apart” used to mean “I forget to eat or shower for a day or two”. Now it means “I’m angry, restless, paranoid, unable to sleep or eat, and I can’t remember when I last showered”.
I get bored. Like really bored. Like desprate to do anything bored. Really the only time i come up with any good art is because mu head is clear and i am so absolutely desperate for something to do before it’s not clear. I can’t express myself when im having an episode with art. My motor skills are to bad and when it’s over i have no idea what i just did and it all seems like nonsense.
I write music primarily which I guess helps me get my mind distracted from the BS of life like my schizophrenia for a decent while. And then when I try to share it no one even bothers to listen to it ever.
