How do you deal with jealousy in a romantic partnership

Lounge
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I SERIOUSLY HAVE no idea.

Obviously self love, yea

But… How do you not feel threatened that someone else is more suitable?

And how do you accept that your partner is friends with girls that he may deeply fancy.

I don’t know if my approach is good.

Basically I tell myself I am the best in the universe and beyond. In order to not feel arrogant, I tell myself, in this world it’s everyone’s personal responsibility to think that too. In a non detrimental way.

And regarding the women my partner may fancy deeply, I tell myself that I don’t like those women because it hurts otherwise. And it builds defense for me. From hurt. I think they are nothing to me. So can’t affect me.

Regarding the actual guy, I forgive him for it.

I know I may one day have friends too of men I deeply fancy, idk. But if I do, I accept if he does the same I do to him in terms of thinking patterns to deal with it.

Does anyone have a better solution or is this OK.

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It’s not ok. Partners may come and go, or they may stick. Ending romance is allways worth a tear or two, but nothing you cannot recover from. Sometimes very quick.
The more you learn how to recover, the less of a broken heart you will have next time.

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Beeing (both partners) desired by the other sex, and deciding to stick with a relationship is something admirable. I think the first part of the sentence is needed, because if not, there may be power struggles.

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At the end of the day you just don’t care. If mf cheats on you too bad, next.

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I’m too afraid of losing someone to one of his friends whose a girl. I literally don’t know how to enjoy this romantic relationship unless I believe I’m the best, because that way I don’t fear losing him, but instead it’s his loss.

I understand my thinking is not ideal but I can’t think of a better way to protect myself from heartbreak and deep depression and fear of being replaced.

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Then it’s very difficult for you to be in a relationship.

Unless you go for the most undesirable and depressed man you can find, just to boost your ego. Which has it’s own problems aswell

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I’m an almost 40 year old, not so thin, not as good looking as I was woman.

I have zero worry about my husband cheating.

We both have close friends of the opposite sex.

If you go into a relationship with the idea they’re going to find someone else,

That’s probably going to happen.

Jealousy is unattractive and no one wants to be in a relationship when their commitment is always in question.

I’d say keep doing your affirmations and try to improve your self esteem.

Also, you should super see a therapist.

Not only are you dealing with jealousy, but I’d say you obsess over the subject.

There have to be 10 threads similar to this usually mentioning your sister.

If I were you I’d avoid dating for a little bit and work on myself.

Dating seems to be setting you back.

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C_F is right. Jealously is very unnatractive. It’s like the opposite of “beeing confident”. It’s like the most important personality trait, isn’t it?

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Yea I’m not very confident when it comes to romance.

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@anon55055794 do you have any thoughts on this?

No worries if not. :pray:

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I personally don’t think thinking ur the best is too bad. But disliking other girls over a romance is what concerns Me a little or seeing them. As nothing etc.

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My mental health nurse directed me to a therapy charity that can’t work with me
Unfortunately

I just found a different place that might work.

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I don’t understand what you are afraid of:
A- him actually cheating on you
B- the very thought of him thinking about the other girl while he’s with you
C- he abandons you
D- he get’s tired of you thinking that you’re not valuable

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I don’t tend to feel jealous of him , I dont even know what jealousy feels like…I don’t worry about him cheating … I’ve always told him he’s welcome to leave anytime there’s no need to cheat. I’d rather be with someone who wants to be with me.

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Hi Zoe
I’m sorry if I cannot help. But with my last boyfriend I was tormented by jealousy, I have never tried anything like that. I was deeply in love with him, and was certain that it was just a matter of time before he would meet someone more spiritual, more creative and more interesting Than me. I was drinking at that time which caused me to argue with him, texting him that I would never see him again, the next moment begging and pleading him not to leave me, not to cheat on me and so on.
I will not encourage you to do that. It is perfectly okay to feel insecure and vulnerable and that you don’t want to lose him. But try to talk to him in a calm way, without acussing him of anything. And if you can please wait until you get to know each other a little better. Expressing jealousy in the beginning of a relationship can push the other one away.
I was lucky because my ex boyfriend was very patient and gentle to me. So he always reassured me that I was the only one for him.
But I think what was really important to me was just time. As time went by we got closer and developed something deep. So I was able to trust that he really cared for me, and that no one could just replace me. I knew that there would be other more beautiful and creative women, but I knew that I was special to him.

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Sorry if that was too long and somewhat irrelevant :grinning:

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I think you should forgive him and try again. You care for the guy.

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Not at all thankyou for sharing. It’s good to hear you learnt to trust each other and you recognised your special value to him.

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I don’t know how to feel comfortable with the fact that he finds other girls sexy, including his ex who happens to be his best friend.

I just want to feel comfortable with it. And not feel I need to distance myself from those girls that are his friends and he finds sexy and attractive. He has a little crush on his best friend too and she is his ex

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I like jealousy.
I even get horny when I’m jealous. Lol

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