When only my pdoc and community nursing team have told me I have been psychotic in the past. When I personally don’t think I’ve ever been psychotic? I have been kinda obsessively asking my friends and family if I’ve acted unusual/strangly in the recent past and they said I have. It’s hard to comprehend as I honestly think I haven’t got anything mentally wrong with me.
Can I ask when drinking excess alcohol does stewing on thoughts about various conspiracies, maybe not conspiracies? Obsessive thinking about things people out to get me, contribute to a psychotic illness such as schizoaffective disorder?
They’ve said I lack of insight.Its in my medical records. I’ve tried to understand that but I keep coming to thinking that they are out to get me. They are keeping secret folders on me, I mean my treatment team/NHS… I feel they’ve actually made me come out and say these things here tonight as I’ve been very discreet about these thoughts but somethings happened this morning as I feel they are tricking me so I talk about the conspiracy then they can keep me on the community treatment order again, I feel they are spying on me on here.
I’m forced to take meds. Invega 100mg monthly injection… Sorry to sound direct in that statement… I can’t have faith… I feel that I can’t be open on here as they are spying on me. I know it…
I know I was almost constantly psychotic in the past because I was always thinking that the whole world was hostile and against me. I was always on the defensive and violent, both physically and verbally. Anyone that is like that is most certainly psychotic.
I feel very similar to you @bobbilly. But as a fail safe I take the meds prescribed religiously, I set alarms and everything. I also tell my doctor all the things I’m experiencing that they call paranoia and delusions and hallucinations. I tell my pdoc just in case I’m wrong. I admit that I also tell my pdoc that I believe it’s all real and explain why. But just in case, I take the prescribed meds. You’re on a low dose. Can your pdoc increase it?
I can’t trust my pdoc. I have had him as mu pdoc for 4 years.
I refuse to have meds increased bc of severe anhedonia, my pdoc says the anhedonia is bc of many psychotic episodes and hospitalisation in the past and he said its damaged my brain (his words). I’m unsure about this. I am sure that they are reading this which makes me reluctant to write too much…
Can I ask?, I have been maybe thinking too much into things but I’ve got a disability assessment looming?. I’m not worried about it… But I have been catastrophizing about what my community nurse wrote in the report (I’m mindful he’s reading this) I think they are out to get me,.
Apparently I become psychotic before I can come to the realization. It’s embarrassing. It makes me look bad. I can’t talk right, I can’t think right. My behavior is odd and people just stare at me. I only see my friends when my psychosis goes away, so they don’t see me in that state. My husband helps me with that.
I feel that I am a malinger. I don’t think I have anything wrong with me. I feel that they are using the disguise of mental illness to control me and the more I deny I have a mental illness the more they say I have one.