Since being on my abilify for the longest time every without pricking about with it I have lost most of my delusions.
I can’t shake the feeling that my community mental health team don’t think I have sz. My nurse sees me once a fortnight and the vocational lady who does the job side sees me every week since I started work and my pdoc sees me every 2 to 3 months. Why would they be doing this when they don’t think I have sz?
I’m under a hughe stress with starting work for the first time in years and have a really bad debt problem (totally my fault, not looking for sympathy.) I’m suicidal and in the past I’ve been worried about people following me, spying on me, putting cameras up, following me in cars etc and now this is all true because of debt collectors. I’m not paranoid, they really are out to get me.
I feel like such a burdern and dissapointment to my family. Sorry to rant, but why would my community mental health team be lying to me about having sz?
The thing is that I don’t think they do. When I challenge them on this they get annoyed. I had to phone the crisis team last week because of suicidal thoughts and she asked me out of the blue if I agreed with my diagnosis and I chatted to her asking her what was on my notes. Apparently my first dx bipolar and then my current sz. Why would she have asked a question like that. I need to get to the bottom of this.