Doc thinks I'm not experiencing psychosis because I have insight

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This doc is really pissing me off. He already waved away my awful avolition and anhedonia as not being negatives because my emotions are blunted, so apparently it’s just something I’m experiencing out of thin air or something for the past 8 months and it’s something that will “go away eventually”. Well now he thinks I’m not having psychosis because I’m not completely unaware I’m having it. Apparently all of the times I thought ppl were trying to telepathically communicate with me or steal my thoughts or try and kill me? Nah, I’m just weird, not psychotic, that’s why I have these thoughts.

Can’t stand this garbage anymore. When I first started having these thoughts I had no insight at all, I thought a cat was God and I followed it into the woods for hours waiting for it to tell me something. But now that I know I experience this stuff I’m more willing to doubt myself and my thoughts. But apparently that means I’m not ill. Screw this crap.

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He’s probably right. I think we misuse the term psychosis on this forum. I’ve always thought psychosis meant that you’ve left planet earth and are living in a dreamworld.

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I am not sure about insight. You may have insight and psychotic thinking, yes. But in full blown psychosis, one has no insight. You had light psychosis, I guess

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it’s a question of reality

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Sounds complex. I really don’t know. I would go with your doctor or get a second opinion. I don’t think we’re really qualified to help or give advice, and if your doctor is struggling, well…I guess I or we don’t really know and can’t help you. I mean we experience psychosis so we’re the ‘experts’ on it, but it’s good to have a rational, sound, and educated outsider/professional/expert look into your case.

Is this a doctor or a psychologist? I wonder if that even matters. A psychiatrist has limited time to spend with you, but I value their opinion more than a run-of-the-mill psychologist. I feel a psychiatrist is better trained and more educated. And some tend to be even weird/out there themselves, haha. Sometimes, it ends up in your favor.

I’ve told a psychiatrist before I thought I lived in a matrix and he didn’t think I had a psychotic disorder (this was very early on in my illness). Some of them believe in reincarnation (a lot of them are from Eastern Asia).

But overtime, I fit the bill. I’m a schizophrenic now. It’s obvious. My thoughts aren’t just the problem, but my lack of action/behavior/emotion. My delusions have definitely spun-off into different areas, different territories, some very dark and scary.

Did I always have insight? No. I honestly thought I was going to be murdered in 2015. I thought I lived in a ■■■■■■■ simulation. That there was a Grand Conspiracy going on to make me disappear. Hindsight, I still question whether it was real, it surely felt 110% real. It was life or death for me. Sometimes I think I altered my behavior to keep myself alive.

I have more insight now than ever. I still believe I was almost murdered in 2015. I sometimes believe in 2010/2011 something very dark happened to me. I have no evidence and cannot think about it rationally, due to living in different timelines (this is inline with my psychosis). Something very similar to a causal loop…it’s very theoretical. (Think of consciousness being sent back in time instead of billiard balls).

Just because I’m schizophrenic, doesn’t mean I have to be psychotic 24/7 with no insight. I’m not. Most of the time I just have strange beliefs and some anxiety. The anxiety comes from drinking 4 Monsters a day, not the illness.

I can be totally fine most of the time and most people assume I’m a normal person, although I dress kind of weird.

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I’ve always had insight, and no one will take me seriously. I’ve been through so many doctors and treatments, and still no one wants to talk about the scary stuff that’s ruining my life.
My only diagnosis is still depression and anxiety. Even though I have been dealing with these voices, thoughts, and torment since I was a kid.
I believed I was demon possessed, till I was 19, and many others things. That doesn’t sound like a psychotic illness, at all. Totally normal…
Lately, my insight wavers a lot. It’sad no one wants to help you, till it’s gone.
We just have to just continue to do our best and take care of ourselves, I guess. The MH system is all rigged, and honestly always leads to problems for me. I’ve basically given up.

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I posted about the same thing yesterday. Because we know the thinking is bad when we aren’t in it obviously we aren’t ill.
I think that is bs and dangerous to us.

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Psychosis comes in different forms. Not all people with sz live in a dreamworld when they are psychotic. I had delusions but I was able to hide them from most people. I hallucinated most of the day but I mostly knew that they were hallucinations.

@op if you know it’s not real and act accordingly, it’s not psychosis. From your description it does definitely sound like you were psychotic at the time. Maybe your doctor is trying to say you don’t have schizophrenia.

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I typed psychosis into google to settle this !

Psychosis

a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

I know people use the term psychotic on this forum a lot but I don’t think it’s correctly used.

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Oh come on. You’re smart enough to see that that definition is open to interpretation.

Here’s another one:
" When you lose touch with reality and see, hear, or believe things that aren’t real, doctors call that psychosis."

It’s actually pretty simple. When you lose contact with reality in some ways, you are psychotic. It doesn’t have to be all-encompassing. It is you who are using the word incorrectly, everhopeful.

I was evaluated by several (highly trained) people. They all agree that I was psychotic, and for a long time. I never lost all contact with reality. Not even close. My diagnosis has never been questioned since I got it.

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When I’m psychotic, I lose touch with reality and have zero insight.

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Yes. That’s what I’m saying :confused:

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Most of my life, it’s been borderline psychosis. My previous psychiatrist questioned if I was ever psychotic, but that changed when I experienced extreme paranoia in 2015.

I had DP/DR, and with that condition there is no loss of contact with reality. It is intact.

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No. You’re adding an “all” in both of those sentence where there is no “all”.

If you believe you’re God, but otherwise continue with your day as usual, that’s psychosis.

If you believe you’re dead, but you function well anyway, that’s also psychosis.

If you, like I did, believe you are receiving messages from spirits/God, can see into the future, and that you’re some kind of modern prophet, but you almost never talk about this and most people think there’s nothing wrong with you at all, that’s psychosis.

Don’t generalize your experience to the entire concept of psychosis, everhopeful. You’re being very disrespectful towards people who’ve had their lives ruined by schizophrenia but have never lived in a complete dreamworld. You know psychosis is the defining feature of schizophrenia. Don’t second-guess all the doctors who’ve given us our diagnoses just because you think our experiences aren’t “bad” enough to belong in the same category as your experiences.

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Christ … I’m out of this thread.

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Good. Try to be more tactful in the future. This is a support forum.

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you can have insight but i find insight is usually the same as hindsight for me, going back a while though but i always kind of knew something wasnt quite right but it was just at the back of my mind when i was delusional, but at the time the delusion was too strong to be convinced it wasn’t real,

it wasnt until after the fact that i looked back and said ‘yeah’ that ■■■■ was fkd up lol

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You can have insight into psychosis. I have insight and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I would try getting a second opinion.

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I also had insight into psychosis. I’d hear alien screaming at me that I’m psychotic and I’d say to him I’m not but looking back in think I must have been
I have intrusive thoughts a lot and it falls under delusions which is psychotic symptom
Basically my pdoc would explain I’m not psychotic but am experiencing psychotic symptoms

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For me this raises the question of when weird thoughts morph into psychosis. Pre regular medication I regularly entertained the thought I had female parts and that if I tried hard enough I could have female orgasms. Was I completely out of touch with reality at such times? No. However with respect to thinking I had female parts that bit of me wasn’t grounded in reality.

Then there are things like false memories, and ambivalent comments such as " Has difficulties with perception".

For me the whole 'Have I been psychotic? vs ‘Have I not been psychotic’ is further clouded by comments/diagnosis/ and medication use.

There are comments in my notes such as "Suffers from psychotic symptoms " , " “And he has in the past suffered from some delusional thoughts which are now managed by medication”

Diagnostically my dx is listed as a non psychotic dx. However as with borderline PD ,another ‘non-psychotic’ illness , episodes of psychosis can occur.

Then there is the medication I am on- Risperdal consta . UK guidelines say it should be used temporarily with people with PDs in the absence of a comorbid psychotic illness - https://www.kmpt.nhs.uk/downloads/information-and-advice/Topic12b-report-pd.pdf See page 3 ‘Treatment targets’ . I’ve been on it for over 9 years.

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