I was abused by a pedophile when I was 6. it was the boyfriend of my sister. but my mom says that a lots of people got through abuses and they didn’t go mad…
I feel like a pedophile too now, I am not of course but I am afraid that others can see this. so I don’t go outside, this thought is in my head still… how can I survive this? I wanna this to go away, I am fed up…
take care
I’m sorry your family isn’t supportive on this one… .
I hope eventually the healing will start.
Do you get to talk to a therapist or counselor?
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i am sorry this happened to you… 
you did not deserve it.
i was abused pre 5…i did not deserve it either.
i could easily ruin my abusers lives…torture them… then kill them.
but i don’t because i know there is something more to this life.
i know karma exists
karma is a worse fate for my abusers than anything i can conjure up.
the memories never go away…you just cope better with them.
as for healing…
each day you take a step closer… 
take care 
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i think I would become schizo even without my abuser, I was really strange since little :(…
and what about my dumbness guys in your opinion?is it just a feeling or there is some real cognitive decline here? my mom doesn’t stop talking politics, I don’t have aclue what she Is talking about. its just pisses me off that I don’t have an opinion…
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you are not stupid Anna10… 
mrs. sith says this to me all the time " we recognize our limitations and focus on our strengths "
if a person talks a lot it does not make them intelligent…they have an opinion that they express…that is all .
i have learnt through 48 years of life that…
a wise person says few words.
hold your head up high Anna10…you are a hero in my book 
…
take care
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yeah but why I don’t have ‘‘normal’’ ideas? my pdoc was saying that my brain is occupied by paranoid thoughts…
At the convention I went to three years ago there were a few people who got up and did presentations on the trauma model of the causation of mental illness. No one really knows what causes us to lose our minds.
I was assaulted with a broomstick by a babysitter when I was very young…and yes…ok…yeah I was. And for everyone I’ve ever heard say that women don’t sexually abuse children…I’m sorry but that’s a bunch of horse manure.
And then I ended up kidnapped by two pedophile rapists who drove around the north east in a van giving boys “military training”. No one talks about it…I went to the police myself who told me to just shut up about it or I’d blow the “investigation”. I was just forcibly taken to the “psychiatrist” who said he wanted to take me out back and have me shot. They basically blacked out my mind so I forgot about the whole thing until the flashbacks of my mid 20’s. Great! you know going all that time having suffered severe trauma and not even knowing it. I mean I could have got help or at least helped myself heal or simply adapt.
(if your reading this and wish compensation for the odd black eye that occurred I’ll gladly give you the name of that shrink 
)
Sometimes it is overwhelming for me to realize that there are people all around me who are suffering just as much as me. When I really don’t like a person what I wish on them is for them to go through all the misery I have gone through. Then I realize they probably have. Over the years I have decided just to make the best of it. So I got dealt some rotten cards. I can still play my hand.
“Normal” is just a setting on the washing machine.
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Mine doesn’t even have that, nothing normal anywhere 
Mine just says “whites” and “colors” and I always think how racist that sounds.
My dishwasher has a “normal” setting though. Makes me think, what would the abnormal setting do?
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Ahaha nice chuckle that gave me
you’re washing machine is racist ahaha
I was molested by my best friend’s dad every time I went to their house in first grade, so about 6 years old. I kept it a secret for almost 40 years. I have violent ideation toward him and any pedophile. A pick-axe would be my choice to exress how I feel. But, I can’t actually harm anyone… I’m so sorry that happened to you. You were an innocent child and darksith is right that you didn’t deserve to be hurt at all. And you may have been different, I was too, but there was nothing about us that gave permission for anyone to abuse us. We are not the outcasts, they are. I pray for healing for you @Anna10
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