Everything seems so hopeless right now. How will I ever get out of this funk that I’m in? Will I ever do anything worthwhile? Like the song says, what’s this life for? What is the point of all of this? I thought that I wanted to live, but I’m only just surviving. I don’t want it to be like this. It shouldn’t be like this. I feel so alone.
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So do I.Where are you from?
I’m in the United States. In the Northeast.
what’s up Heather?
What happened?
Are you on medication?
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I’m on my regular meds. I don’t know what happened. I just feel so lost. So dark and sad. I was supposed to go out today with a lady from church. I couldn’t even accomplish that. I’ve been shut in my room in the dark all day. My family is downstairs without me, not even noticing that I’m not there. They don’t even come to check on me anymore. It’s the norm, now, for me to be absent. I’m not missed. I’m a nonentity.
you know that is in your head and not true.
I am so certain it is not true. Think back how it started, maybe they leave you alone because they think you need it. When someone has no energy for me, I do not go after them. I let them be alone. Like my partner. We spend so much time alone in different rooms, we don’t disturb each other and I think it is better.
Take this time in your room to better reflect on your symptoms, see if you need medication adjustment, think back on how this isolation was triggered, what you can do to change things. It is the holidays after all.
It’s okay to cancel appointments, people are understanding.
I only think they don’t check on you because they think you need your time alone.
Also, don’t forget, people will never understand mental illness unless it happens to them too.
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Sounds like depression to me maybe time for med changes or something. I had a doc that would only treat my sz with AP’s I had to leave him so I could get zoloft.
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I feel like that now, its awful. i have a family and all i want to do is be alone. I found that at least getting out once a day to wake up my mind helps. do you like to read? I like to find books that match the mood im in so i dont feel so alone
I talked to my sister. She is sza too. Then my husband made me get out of bed and go downstairs. I did a load of laundry and my kids helped me clean up. That was nice. My husband got the kids Wendy’s for dinner before going to work. I wrapped some presents, and now I am back in my room, feeling much better, with a TV dinner and my dog to keep me company. Sorry for getting so upset. Everything just felt so desolate. I had been on a downward spiral and had been writing suicide notes about two weeks ago, planning it out. I was put on lithium and my meds have been changed a bit. I am still adjusting, I guess. I will keep in touch with my husband and sister throughout the night, per their requests. I think I am okay right now.
Thank you for understanding.
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I think that if you are planning a suicide out you need to ask for help. That’s when the mental health professionals take notice - when you have a plan. Please talk to a mental health professional right away.
I got in touch with my pdoc when I started planning. She is helping me, seeing me every other week and having me check in every week.
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