What was your maddest delusion, or most complex one and how did you rationalize it?
You forgot one of the icons. Terry Davis. Man created an operating system to speak to god
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I have a whole host of messed up ongoing delusions connected with the binary system. I think 2036 and 2047 will be pivotal years in history because of my own flavor of numerology which has computer programming involved in the fact that 1 is true and 0 is false. The rationalization is that since 1 is true and in binary 1+11+111+1111+11111+111111+1111111+11111111+111111111+1111111111=2036 and 11111111111=2047 they have to mean something, supposedly according to the delusion because the truth will set you free I guess?
Howâs that for a maddest delusion?
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I feel so stupid compared to everyone else. My cognitive decline was strong, and unfortunately, there wasnât much to begin with.
Same with everything else I have tried, I just feel so inept, and this ineptitude is a constant struggle of mine.
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You should start counting in binary in your own head, it helped me with my cognitive decline rather quickly once I got into it, my mom noticed as well and started doing it too, as you get to more and more digits you sort of feel your clarity of mind level up. Itâs refreshing really. Yesterday I completed my first mind count to 255, which is 11111111 in binary in case you were wondering, which is cool because itâs a byte. Like in Megabytes, Gigabytes, itâs 1 byte. I feel so much better compared to when I struggled with 4 digits.
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Must be the singularity
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Bro donât sweat it I thought I was smart and â â â â took an iq test turns out I wasnât haha. Iâm to slow and my maths is off⌠Anyway you gotta find what you like doing and excel at that on your level
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That one I have for 2049 because Jesus died at 33 which is 100001 and thatâs 100000000001. Thatâs according to the delusion of course, Iâm just reporting on it, making no judgment (Itâs a joke I donât know what the delusion is gonna land on there, but itâs clear that 2049 is getting added in the dates of interest lately and being the last in order, if we exclude another delusion I have which would add 2051 as well but thatâs going too deep into it, I made the joke⌠Okay enough maddest delusion, first time I spoke about it openly).
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What abt qbits, you ever got into those? Curious to see your theories
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I see more signs of intelligent life with schizophrenics than normal for some reason. I mean when weâre not totally immersed in a delusion and we can think I see so much intelligent life that I donât see rarely. Intelligence is more to me than puzzles and quizzes and things. I mean just when I came back and participated on this forum I think I became so much smarter. I was shown by others here how to intelligently handle my diagnosis of schizophrenia. I see people here that have taught me what they were taught and it worked whereas before I thought medication was the only thing. I mean if intelligence is learning I learn from others here and I am functioning at a point where I donât think I could have if I didnât learn what I learned from here.
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Dude I have a brain not a quantum computer, how am I gonna go entangling bits of information? Howâd I even be able to know if I succeeded? My conscious experience is about improving my conscious experience but not like normal people who live lives, no, I literally got into the habit of shaping my emotions and realization in order to make life more appealing to me, building synesthesias and many such things. Itâs not like imagination, itâs a slow process, it takes a long time to see significant changes but it makes life much more wondrous, colors become more vibrant but not in the same twisted way of psychosis but a healthy way, plus I have so many synesthesias and ways to perceive the world after years of doing it, my theories are connected to the weird stuff I can do with my conscious experience through shaping my realization, shaping it and seeing how it affects me, finding new layers and realizing the different effects. All the stuff Iâm doing is highly impactful to more than just my perception and reactions adjusting to my will over time but also Iâve recently found a layer I could work on which let me recover from a peripheral neuropathy I was starting to get from Latuda. Like why donât people talk about how to do stuff like this? Thatâs what I need theories for but stay away from any thought because I am well aware that if I read anything into what I just said or around it I just find delusions.
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I had mixed performance over the years. I still havenât worked or finished school. I think hygiene, self care, and cleaning my room is #1 first. If I cannot do that, no point in working or going to school at allâŚ
I felt smart or smarter on the medications at least in my own experience. I felt good on Risperdal, mainly. I have lost memories and cognitive functioning over the years despite some gains lol.
In school, 12 years ago, I didnât finish my probability final. I got a Pass, but only attemped like half or a quarter of the problems on the final. When on meds and after re-reading Pitmanâs book and doing most probability problems (over 500 lol) and being focused, I timed myself and Aced my probability final on my own, in my own time, for my own sanity. It was a great experience for me. It was âIntro to Probabilityâ and I lacked focus and mostly mental clarity back then in school.
One of my favorite puzzles was the Ant Problem where you have a stick with ants moving back and forth and finding the time they all fall off the stick. I love and excel at that stuff.
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I have grandiose thinking, but I also am a talker, not a do-er, I suppose. I have no achievements. People work bagging groceries and pushing carts are more successful in my eyes than Me!
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Dude, Iâll be completely honest, I donât even know what counting in binary means. I know itâs coding, and you use 0s and 1s, but I donât know much else.
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Counting: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, etcâŚ
Counting in binary: 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, 1001 etcâŚ
Itâs keeping all those digits and changing them so little and being stuck until you do it well enough that you know it was in fact 1001 you were visualizing/feeling in your head when you said nine and can now move on to 1010 aka ten etc. It teaches you mental discipline, it slowly forces you to hold more information together, 6 digits is already no joke in a foreign counting system, plus you also need to stay on task, like itâs its own thing. I consider it like working out for my working memory, pun intended.
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I like Einsteinâs example of not âmemorizingâ useless information like streets and maps and stuff like that, but actually âdoingâ and stuff.
Iâm terrible at streets, names, etc.
Einstein, if I remember, didnât focus on the arithmetic, but the ideas and concepts.
I cannot do mental math. Iâm worse at it now. I could count change in my head and do multiples of 2, and division of 1, and subtraction and addition in my head.
Iâve met people who are savants or have a âtechniqueâ to do mental math. My grandfather allegedly could beat a calculator in math.
If I wasnât schizophrenic, I would have been âsuccesfulâ or have done something at least in my life. I still got 10-30 years, I suppose to do something. I havenât even done meaningful or âmenial workâ yet. Itâs been 10-13 years so far, I guessâŚ
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Do you have a degree (and what in)? Just curious. I like your style of thinking.
We both âhave long postsâ lol. We have a lot to say.
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I mean, I wasnât always so dumb. I used to do short division in my head like it was nobodyâs business, but now I need paper in order to do division. Itâs like either the meds or illness itself killed my working memory. I used to do algebra also in my head, it was so easy back then, but not now unfortunately. My dad called it seeing numbers in your head. Maybe Iâll try to learn binary, it surely couldnât worsen anything.
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Nope, I took some classes of business and economics but realized they were all hacks(and by all I mean a professor, I mainly didnât care for the subject afterall I guess) and left, then I went into computer science but halfway through it I got hit badly out of the left field by psychosis, it was super sudden for me, literally took the wind out of my life. Thanks for the compliment, what about it?
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I read his wiki bio. sad that he had to spend so much time away from his passion dealing with demons. meds may limit creativity but they keep one sane. a cautionary tale.
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