Going outside is pretty much terrifying. I see the benefits agency with camcorders everywhere. I don’t won’t to go outside again.
Don’t want to be awake when other people are awake. I want to sleep during the days and awaken at dusk.
I want to be the guy I was at 17.
Who you were at 17?
I was a guy who lived in the moment. Now it feels like I am swimming through treacle.
I am so down.
I’m sorry you’re having issues. 
I assure you the benefits people do not have camcorders everywhere. I know it might be hard to believe that, but they don’t have the time or resources to invest in having them everywhere to find fraud. You’ll be okay, buddy.
Try to lay off the caffeine. well thats what helps me . When i even touch one cup of coffee i get episodes.
My clinical psychologist said she can’t help me because my ideas are not bizarre enough and that I should in reality worry about folk with camcorders. Go figure
I’m sorry you’re really suffering right now, @anon20613941. Is there anyone you could talk with on the telephone right now, perhaps?
I suspect very few people are helped by psychologists to be honest. It seems like a waste of time to me. But that’s just my opinion.
I am waiting for breathing space to open. They are a telephone counselling charity. They are good people
Oh hope you feel better. Try some breathing exercises and don’t think too much. Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes.
sz is stressful…try finding some activity eg squash to vent those negative vibes
Hang in there @anon20613941, those feelings will subside. Try and find something to distract your mind.
Just remember that it doesn’t always have to be this way. Things can get better.
James, even if they did have camcorders, you have nothing to worry about. I know this idea gets to you periodically, but you aren’t doing anything that the benefits people would be concerned or suspicious about.
Hey rubes. This thought of camcorders is so fixed though. Am really genuinely realising leaving the flat isn’t worth the stress it causes. Have unplugged all the phones and disabled the intercom.
The curtains are closed and are going to stay that way. Gonna get wired on coffee till I pass out at 6am. The daytime can just get stuffed
Take it easy jim, i think you need to wait for your depot to kick in and then hopefully the paranoia will subside,
I dont care about the dwp or anything, i tell myself i am a survivor and i can deal with anything that is thrown at me, they cant beat me.
jimbob. take it one step at a time – getting better, I mean, and then you’ll eventually get there, to your goal of your old self.
really.
take it from someone whose also seen the other side of midnite.
judy
sorry you are having a tough time, I hope it gets better for you
hang in there, @anon20613941!
I myself feel that I am standing in the eye of a hurricane. When you’re ‘in it’, it seems like it will never end. But things do get better with time.
You’ve always been in my top 10 posters on this forum. Take care of yourself and PM me if you’d like to talk more about this privately. I think we both share similar delusions.
I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time @anon20613941.
Throw on some good tunes, and please try to relax.
Remember that you’re loved by your family and friends. 