Schizophrenia.com

Help! I am confused. I feel like giving up life


#1

I just constantly feel that people are plotting to harm me in future. Some times i feel overwhelmed by fear. I feeling like giving up life. What do i do?


#2

I can relate to the to blinding confusion. It makes is so hard to know who to trust and who to stay away from. I had to focus on who I did in fact trust and get some help form them.

Do you have some family or friends that you do trust? You might be able to talk it out with them. It might be time to start getting a safety net in place so when you do feel too overwhelmed you have someone who can help you out.


#3

Thanks J, Have you ever felt that way? Its a dreadful thought.


#4

The worst for me is it’s never just a simple confusion, there is a panic and paranoia that comes with it. If I were merely calmly confused about an issue I could sit down and think. But it’s the confusion and panic together that really throws a monkey wrench in my state of lucid. Then I really think that I’m in danger from almost everyone. It makes it hard to ask for help because I don’t know who to trust.

I have a good crisis team in place. Somehow, knowing it’s there… waiting, helps me keep calm.

The feeling of overwhelmed starts the stress… the stress starts the panic… the panic starts the paranoia… the paranoia starts the confusion… on and on the head circus rolls.


#5

You sound intelligent, it is the hardest thing to be down here, oh what i would not give to just be an idiot in this fashion.

How nice it would feel to just trust and smile and not know anything, but that isn’t real, it’s a very dangerous place and it would seem whatever people do they harm themselves and others, it can only go one way and that is straight down unfortunately.

And as if they all cared about us in any way at all, nope, the only reason most of us make it is because there is money to be made off of us.

It’s true, they are all out to get eachother, what do you think they are out to help eachother, bull donkey!


#6

i am offended. didnt i make intelligent remarks?

but indeed ignornace is a bliss. at least from my perspective in the now


#7

to orginal poster/threadstarter

you are worthy. please listen to
Katy Perry - Unconditionally
i hope you get some strength from this video clip


#8

J, You talk as if you are reading my mind. You made a better description of what goes on in my seemingly wrecked mind. But the question i want to ask is , “are those thoughts and feelings Real?” How can everyone be against me. That seems impossible, but i find it difficult to believe that it is delusion and hallucination. I just see myself extremely frightened by such thoughts. Even when some one i trust try to convince me that the feelings are not real, i may be tempted to distrust him and some how start seeing him as pretending as if he doesnt know what is happening to me. I see him as one trying to cover up the truth so as to keep me safe for now., My question once again is when will this be over? Is it possible for me to be free from this one day?
Lets help each other.


#9

It’s a hard thing to do, trusting people in the middle of this panic attack. The first thing I do is try and get the panic under control. First, I get go somewhere quiet and just try so hard to stop the panic. I make the worst decisions under panic. Then I try to overcome the paranoia. I also think that the people in my life are lying to me, trying to trick me. But sometimes that’s the paranoia. So I sort of have to force myself to ask, what is the worst they can do to me? What is the worst lie they can tell?
It will take me a bit to calm down, but once I do, I can try and convince myself that no one is out to hurt me or make my life worse.
As far as the question; when will it end? It didn’t end for me until I got my meds right and I began to stabilize. I still have little flashes of this panic. I’ve also taken panic management workshops and stress therapy workshops and I also take Xanax.
It still happens, but it’s stress triggered, and I’ve learned to manage it better over the past few years.


#10

I can sort of relate to this. I switch through phases of apathetic compliance because I feel like anti-psychotic medication has screwed me up. I keep thinking that the medication is what caused my illness, and the more I dwell on it or try and talk sense into myself, the harder it is to come to terms with.
I was put on Lexapro and asked to stop taking medication, and my psychiatrist told me I was manic. I’ve been manic before, and now that I started Latuda my psychiatrist again took me off Vyvanse when I keep saying that I need it. The problem is, I keep taking things to make me down when I need to be up/happy. I don’t feel like hallucinations or paranoia are the problems anymore. But, I still get that way where I don’t know how to behave in situations. I started wondering if I just needed to take my time more and not be so misunderstood by others. I feel discriminated against, I feel depressed. I hate pills and if I had a choice I wouldn’t ever take a “medication” again. I just want to be normal!


#11

Hopefully this will help. When I was delusional I thought everybody was against me too. I thought my parents were against me. I thought my pdoc was against me and I thought that everybody spit in my food at fast-food places. But I found out that none of this was true. The voices were telling me this.


#12

Wow! I am enjoying this forum. As i read some these posts, i begin feel some kind of relief. I hear people share there own experiences which sound like mine. Before now, i thought i was the only one having this kind of feelings. This sickness has done a great harm to my life. For me its no joke. It affected my educational career. It affected my job. It caused me a lot of shame. It made me lose confidence in myself. I withdrew myself from every body. It made me to restrict my own movement. I was confined in a particular apartment for over 120 days. At that time it was a harvest, anxiety, depression, obsession, lucid, suicidal thoughts and hopelessness. But at a point, help came. And i started medication.Though, there was a kind of relief, but the core thing was still lingering. Till now, it still lingers. But i have stopped medication for over 4 yrs now. I try to cope but, i still get withdrawn from people from time to time. I feel i dont trust them. In my mind, i think they are still plotting to harm me in future. But the future never comes. And some times i think, if they are really after me, why do they have to waste their time monitoring me for this length of time. Most time i am out there, even in the wee hours of the night. So, i ask myself, if they want to harm me, they could have traced me at any of those late hours and carry out their plot if really there is any. So, i think all the thoughts are not real. I may likely start medication again. Or what do you suggest.


#13

That is such a personal question and it’s such a different answer for everyone.

I for one need my meds. Every time I quit my meds, I end up rabid and back in hospital. I can’t function at all when I’m off my meds.
I’m undifferentiated Sz and have a nice big helping of disorganized sz mixed with the paranoia. I know that I can’t function without the meds. But in my life my parents put me in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Stress management, Anger management, and any other therapy they could find. I feel that the therapy with the meds has helped me a lot. Plus even though I’m on meds, I’m not on high doses. I had a huge alcohol and drug addiction mixed in. So I also had rehab and AA as well as other therapies.

There are a few posters here who are doing very well being med free and they are using other means of maintaining their stability. I would say opting for meds or opting for no meds with other forms of therapy and help is something you need to look into for yourself. If you feel that your loosing your stability and it’s really hurting your ability’s you might want to start talking to a therapist and doc to see what new options are available now. New meds and med combos are coming out all the time.
I know this is NOT a direct answer in anyway. I hate telling people that they should do what worked for me because it might not work for them.