I want to make sure I stay within this sites guidelines so please inform me if I made any mistakes. I am attempting to learn more about schizophrenia and what steps I should take if I Believe I might have schizophrenia. I have done a good amount of reading and from what I read it pointed me here to talk with this community.
I want to give a little background about myself but won’t go into every small detail. For the last 9 months I have been in dialectical behavioral training and seeing a psychiatrist who has prescribed medication to help me with some of my challenges. The reason I have pursued therapy is that I came to a realization that my challenges in life were not a cause of everyone around me, but something that stemmed from within myself. I have been doing a lot of work on understanding my emotions or lack of and how to regulate them.
I don’t talk to anyone about what goes on in my head for a couple of reasons. I don’t exactly have a vocabulary to articulate my thoughts to other people and I am fearful of what people would think. I realize that it is difficult to diagnose schizophrenia, and some of the symptoms overlap with other illnesses. The mental health professionals that I have been working with seem reluctant to diagnose me with anything. They feel comfortable with helping me work on bettering myself but not giving me a diagnosis. This may also be due to my inability articulate everything to them.
I don’t want this to be long winded, but if anyone can share with me some tips on how I may go about understanding if I am potentially suffering from schizophrenia it would greatly be appreciated. Thank you.
Well the best way to go about that is through your mental health care professional…you said you were in therapy right? Have you asked their opinion?
Schizophrenia is characterized by positive and negative symptoms. Have you dealt with a) hallucinations b) strange beliefs c) paranoia? These are examples of positive symptoms. Have you dealt with a) people telling you you have no facial expressions or speak in a dull tone b) hygiene troubles c) people saying you respond to things inappropriately? These are examples of negative symptoms.
I have positive but no negative symptoms so I got slapped with a nonspecific psychotic disorder diagnoses. Anyways good luck to you on your journey to wellness and welcome to the forum
with as articulate a post as you have written I think you might just be afraid that you are schizophrenic but I doubt you are because you seem very together in your writing. I had no idea I was schizophrenic but because of my beliefs when I fell ill I handed myself into the psychiatrists and was immediately put in a mental ward. good luck on finding what diagnosis helps you cope.
I am in therapy but in stage one of my treatment. At this point until I have shown that I no longer will inflict self harm or regulate my emotions I can’t go to stage 2 where I will be able to discuss my past. It’s built that way so I don’t spiral out of control dealing with trauma.
To answer some of these bullet points you made.
A) yes they come and go though
B) I don’t personally consider my beliefs to be strange but to family members I have shared with they don’t agree
C) this is Definately yes
A) they don’t have to tell me this is who I am
B) just brushing my hair and forcing myself to brush my teeth otherwise I keep myself clean
C) I usually just keep my mouth shut so this doesn’t happen
I appreciate your point on this. Coping is not an issue at this point. I am just exploring possibilities at this point along with borderline personality disorder which I am currently learning skills for and ADD and Aspergers and depression which have both have been discussed by my therapist and doctors. I don’t want to come across as this was a knee jerk reaction for me. I gave this a lot of thought and research before I came here.
Thank you for these links I have read this information and took the quizzes. I scored well above the threshold and is why I am reaching out to this community for advice.
Wow that’s a cool setup for therapy. Wish my therapist was that structured. She sort of just has me talk about whatever’s on my mind but my thoughts jump all over the place so it’s kind of crazy that way.
Schizophrenia is complex and can have many other connected symptoms as well. Anyways if you shared a little bit more about symptoms you thought you had that were schizophrenic I think people on here could give better feedback. But it’s your choice!
I would put a little pressure on your doctors to tell you if you have schizophrenia or not. From what I understand, you think you have it. But you can’t get the right treatment for it if you don’t have a diagnosis of it. It sounds like you either can’t or won’t reveal all your symptoms to your doctors. That’s probably why you haven’t received an official diagnosis of schizophrenia. You or someone else is going to have to tell the doctors what you’re really going through. You probably will either want or HAVE to tell them eventually anyway, so you might as well do it now and get it out of the way.
My therapist is wonderful. She is teaching me skills to hopefully one day create a life worth living. She doesn’t give me the opportunity to get off tract and there is purpose to each of our sessions. She doesn’t put up with my stubbornness rebellious attitude either
I knew that I would need to share and I appreciate you opening that door. I just have a difficult time with being vulnerable.
I have dealt with delusions since my teens. They got worse as I got older. They are always there but if I stay busy and occupy my time with other things I can block them out. It really stems from my core religious beliefs. i have gone through bouts of believing I was the devil to being an angel. I see signs through numbers and music and dreams. I believe that falls under delusions of reference and grandeur.
Hallucinations are an inner monologue I keep with what I have referred to as my different personalities. It depends on my mood as to which one has the loudest voice and usually telling me I’m messing up in some way. This is where I get confused as I don’t know if it’s my conscious speaking to me or God which I whole heartedly believe in. I have also had visual hallucinations but they are really far and few apart. I have seen people with glowing eyes and able to see a glowing aura around them. Depending on their aura I classify them as red or blue.
My speech issues are not terrible. I can write my thought better than I can say them because I can’t hold on to a thought pattern long enough to get everything out coherently. It like the sound of my words distract me. I usually give one or two words responses and unless I have practiced what I am going to say it won’t get my point across. I guess this is called alogia and is a negative symptom. I don’t think I have disorganized speech.
I guess I do have catatonic behavior. My family has told me I “tune” everyone out. I have always considered it to be a way for me to escape sensory overload.
I believe affective flattening is involved to. I maintain a monotone voice as I can get excited easily and I want to appear normal. My therapist also agrees that I can completely switch off my emotions which leaves me expression less. Eye contact has gotten worse over the years. I feel that I can see straight into someone’s soul and I don’t like looking. Eyes tell me everything about someone. I really just don’t want to know that much.
Some other negative symptoms. I just don’t really have no interest in life. I have terrible socialization skills. I spend more time watching how other people act so I can mimic them. I have no friends. I failed to maintain relationships and secluded myself.
There is a lot more but I feel like I’m rambling now. Maybe this will spark some conversation.
I have to get past the fear of telling them. You are right though.
Thank you. You just validated my therapist. She has told me the same thing just in a slightly different way.
Thank you. You just validated my therapist . She has told me the same thing just in a slightly different way. If it wasn’t for a family member who is concerned I wouldn’t even have considered it on my own.
I came from a broken home my mother abandoned me when I was 3. I was mainly raised by my grandparents as my dad worked several jobs to keep food on the table. My grandfather was not big on emotions either he kept to himself mainly and other than fighting with my grandmother he stayed pretty quite. My grandmother was loving and treated me as her own son. I just never really recall that as being enough after experiencing the adornment by my mother. My dad was not a very emotional person either after my mother left he has never recovered. He used to tell me I was just like my mother. I don’t think he meant that to hurt me but it was very invalidating and made me believe that he hated me as much as her. I spent a long time seeking his approval and finally gave up. It’s as if every time he looks at me he sees her and it breaks his heart all over again.
I am the oldest of my siblings and have a younger brother and two half sisters. My step mom did not trust me through my teen years and always thought I would hurt the family somehow. My dad pretty much wrote me off once my two half sisters came into the picture.
I love my family but we don’t spend a lot of time together. My brother is the closest to me, but we rarely spend time with each other. Not his fault it is mine. My younger half sisters are much younger. I was out of the house on my own when they were young. We get along but are not close.
I have not read that book. Thank you for the suggestions.
You may want to look into some of these books. Just reading them sometimes unwinds the confusion so much that there is a considerable reduction in symptoms for some patients. (One can order cheap used copies on amazon.com.)
Forward, S.: Toxic Parents: Overcoming their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, New York: Bantam Books, 1989.
Golomb, E.: Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self, New York: William Morrow, 1992.
Payson, E.: The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with One-Way Relationships in Work, Love and Family, Royal Oak, MI: Julian Day, 2002.
Brown, N.: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd. Ed., Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.
I have toxic parents overcoming their hurtful legacy on my nightstand. It was given to me by my last therapist before I hit almost rock bottom and which led me to seek help with a different therapist that specialized in DBT. She told me if the reading got to heavy just put it away until I was ready. That book stirs up emotions I am not quite ready to deal with.
Thank you for your time and suggestions. I will educate myself more with that material.