That’s how I’ve been feeling for months. Nothing has been easy including things that used to be routine and not that much of a bother. Now it just feels so hard to do almost anything. I don’t have the depressed mood. I don’t understand how I just seem to have gotten schizophrenic in my 40s.
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You are “lucky” in this regard. I got ill at 30. How was your psychosis ? How long until you were put on meds ?
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My psychosis was no worse than what I’m living with now that I’m stable. I was agitated a lot though, but had more energy, more personality, I think I was even like hypomanic or something similar for a few months. It was only after a few months that I was put on a proper dose of risperidone that helped calm me down. Though I feel somewhat sane and stable now, I guess there are still a bunch of negative symptoms and I feel like I have nothing worth living for, so it’s hard to say that anything has improved since getting ill.
If I remember well, you said your mom passed away a while ago. Sorry to hear that.
Is your illness inherited from one of the parents ? My old folks are in perfect shape, it makes me jealous… I am the first case of schizophrenia in my family…
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My mother was sz and paranoid. She died last summer and I got ill shortly after.
Hmm… at least paranoid schizophrenia is treatable in most cases, whereas deficit schizophrenia still awaits a medical breakthrough… 
Maybe you went through too much pain after losing your mom and it precipitated the onset of your disease, or it was pure coincidence. In my case I think stressful life was the culprit. But genes definitely play the major part.
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sorry to read you’re having a hard time just now. is there anything you can do to lighten the burden and enjoy a little at least?
i am needing more me time at home and i am trying to do it somehow for myself. good luck to you. judy
It’s interesting that you got ill at 30, I thought cases which occur later in life tend to have better outcomes, yet you say you have struggled with almost every negative symptom for several years with no remission. I’m still in the second year of my illness, and I still suffer from a few persistent negative symptoms, mild reduced emotional range and moderate to severe alogia. I think SP2342 said alogia got better after 1.5-2years so I’m waiting for that. Strange how so many of us have different symptoms and different timing of onset. Sz really is unpredictable.
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@jajingna I get how it feels hard to do anything. This is my worst symptom of all. It is painful.
Just be kind to yourself. Love yourself with tea or anything you can.
My onset was at 46 (a year and a half ago) and I am hoping that means I may have a better chance of permanent remission. I don’t have a lot of negative symptoms but I do get depressed and I do struggle with energy and motivation. It is a struggle to do basic things. Can’t seem to get my engine going. It’s tough
Wow 40s mine at 21
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Man how are u …i am just too sad…write to me…