It’s hard to get dressed. Hard to brush my teeth. Hard to take my meds. Hard to get food. Hard to go out. I’ve been asked to sub at work almost every day this week could’ve made a lot of money but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Everything is hard. Just want to lie in bed all day but when I do the demons talk to me. They laugh at me. I say I don’t want them I want to be free I want my Father and they laugh and say I’m lying.
They screw me until I can’t think of anything else and I’m completely worn down and then they refuse to so much as touch me because they like to watch me squirm and beg and hate myself. Then I end up all angry and irritable and snap at my family and can’t stand to be around them.
Depressive symptoms suck. I know I have been having trouble doing everything I got to as well. I wish I could help. I don’t wanna just suggest a med change because people always tell you that and I know you’ll likely have that in mind already . I’ll just say maintain hope things can get better. Hope is the seed from which we can gain strength to act while we are down. That’s how it is for me at least. Hope is what keeps me alive to be honest
And your demons are cruel to hurt you so. It really seems like our voices and demons have a life of their own within us. And yours really put you through alot. But regardless, it doesn’t make you any less awesome. You are still a great person Anna
Well this post answers my questions to you in another post, so you needn’t respond to that one. Sorry to hear that things are getting hard for you again. But hang in there. Life is nothing but a series of ups and downs for all of us. There are times when things get easier and things appear brighter, and then there are times when things are harder and things seem darker. It comes around in circles, and that is true for all people, not just those with schizophrenia. Do you have someone you can talk to and support you during your rough patches? Does talking on the forum help?
Posting on the forum helps a lot I can be totally open and everyone always says such kind and helpful things that encourage me to keep fighting.
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