I used to have a life prior to developing this illness.
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Me too. Fortunately I built myself a new one and it turned out better than the one I lost, so it’s all good.
Pixel.
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I understand your feels. I had a job, an apartment of my own, and was experiencing a spiritual high at the time I started to become SZ.
My current situation is surprisingly better, though. I feel “free” of a lot of the religious & contagious natures of the world that held me back and also am in a better state of mind & being in general. The only problems are my nerve pain inside of the brain and my intense tiredness.
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I hear ya!looking back before this illness , a person had no worries in the world! Now everything feels hopeless n u just which u could turn back time! Before this whole thing started, wishing u were normal again! I think we have all lost something! I hope it gets better
That’s just the way it is. Think of all the benefits you get from being this way. I just can’t find anybody else. There must be someone outside this forum.
It hurts me to think of things I could have done if I didn’t have schizophrenia.
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I can’t think of any benefits to sz. What are they? sz destroyed my life.
It’s not terminal cancer. It’s not progeria. It’s not quadriplegia. That’s something.
Pixel.
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I lost the last moments with my mom, I lost my apartment, bridges nuked with family members, my sanity and stability. Slowly but surley recovering and gaining a foothold into a new future and gaining ground.
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When you hit rock bottom there is no place to go but up.
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I would try to be less negative,I know it’s hard but you need to have hope and put in effort and work to try to change things you feel can be changed in order to acheive a ideal lifestyle.
Try to take your meds,get out more,be hopeful and think lesser.Oh,do some exercise too,you will feel better! 
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I have visions. I have longstanding insights acquired over a lifetime of this illness. I am much better at understanding other people than they are me. I have an acute self-knowledge gained through dealing with a psychoanalyst, psychiatrists and now a therapist. I have a heightened sexual arousal level and entirely self stimulating climaxes throughout each day. I have a too good sense of humor due to adversity and stress. I am better at using self control because I need to have it during the day. I have an increased appreciation of the natural world. I have an intellect that hasn’t begun to be tested,. I have a complicated and very interesting outlook on life. I get to be on drugs that slow the world down and make it possible for me to think more slowly and more reasonably than other people, etc.,etc. I hope this answers your question.
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sometimes when i think of my past all the hurts i recived it breaks my heart and i cry in agony, darkness engulfs me
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
To be honest, I am gaining new strengths in a role I appreciate more. Being a security officer in a big city & doing absolutely nothing besides wasn’t really that great of a feeling.
Now, I feel like I am more interactive with God and even helping God. We often think that God requires zero help & perhaps is genuinely “omnipotent”, but I take a different approach. I think God created humankind as a testing ground & wanted to actually accompany & make friends with some of us here that took a liking to the way things were originally designed.
But seriously, if we had dream-recording technology I’d be rich & famous for my experiences. I have that to fall back on - I dream better than 99.9% of the human population here on Earth - that says something.
and what about `13 years of isolation between 4 walls tomasina? cause its my case… i am on meds now and dont know if theyr will work. and yes, i have regrets now…
p.s. positive thinking can help us, i think 
Sorry to hear this, Anna. I really hope your meds work.
wow pixel. that’s great news. very very encouraging to me, at least.
thanks, judy