Hatred we can't let go


Do you ever have past hatred come and torment you again? There was this incident, when I was playing basketball outside with like 5 other neighbors. And a little boy came by and sat at the base of the goal and was shaking it. I picked this kid up and got him out of the way of danger. Why was it my mistake? I brought the boy to his house. Next thing the mom and the boy’s step dad came outside talking about ‘why you pick up my boy’!? I meant these humans went ape ■■■■ about it. Later that night the mom called her ‘crazy’ ex boyfriend. And he showed up in my front driveway with like 9 other male family members. The ex boyfriend wanted to talk with me. I’m like WHY you bring your whole posse, if its just about talking sorting things out? I didn’t even step outside, I called the cops on them. They showed up and handled everything. But til this day I have hatred for those neighbors over there. I’d like to shake it. But sometimes it resurfaces and I can’t. I know I’m the better man in the situation. So why is it so hard to let it go?


I have hatred too for the people that ruined my life. That tortured my children. I hope they rot in hell for what they’ve done. Me, I can understand, even though I was only 15 when it started but a four year old? How. Can anybody torture a 4 yr old child? There was no need for my kids to b involved in this. None whatsoever. They could have come back when the kids were at their dad’s house. Now he is dead and I’m left to try and care for two emotionally disturbed teenagers and myself. I’m strong enough but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. I hate them with every part of my being and I hope there is a vengeful God.


I’ve been trying to figure out how to let it go for what seems like an eternity. I have red rage against someone for what they did to me and my entire family etc…


i have ptsd so i re-live moments, it is an endless hell for me, i do get a rage that comes over me it is hard to deal with but i believe in karma so i figure karma will deal with those that have made me suffer
i am sorry you are going through it , but it is could to forgive but not to forget.
take care


Hate has its place. The world is full of assholes, you don’t have to like everyone, they certainly won’t all like you. But you need to make sure your hate is worth holding on to and that you’re not dwelling on it over trivial reasons.


I used to have hatred for my brother. Not the brother that I knew when we were children, but the adult brother who treated myself and our Dad like dirt. The arrogant untouchable brother who disowned us for about 6 months or so.
I hated him until I realized what a miserable and empty life he must lead. A dead end high powered job, a borderline wife who controls him, a kid with issues of his own. My hate turned into pity for him - I now feel sorry for him.
Most of the people you hate and encounter in life, are the same people you can just as easily feel sorry for.
Most of them lead very empty, shallow miserable lives. The hate and misery they feel for themselves is projected onto others


Do we have the same brother? Wow, that sounded just like that same man. My sister in law is actually trying to become a better person.

My brother… Just like yours and arrogant, untouchable, flashing the cash, on again off again disownment but it’s coming to light these past few months… It’s a train wreck in the making. Many people think that crash is going to happen any day now. But for now, he refuses all help.

It’s hard to let go of the hate. I think it’s also a bit of society we live in. Turning the other cheek is seen as weakness. Business is cut throat, politics is cut throat, show biz is cut throat. It’s just message after message about how accepted it is to be aggressive.

If you google “politeness is a sign of weakness” there are a LOT of articles that perpetuate that idea. :frowning:


These days although things have improved between us, I came to the realization that he is not going to change much I dont think, and this is ok, I shall accept him for who he is, a pompous arrogant selfish fool who sold his soul to a non caring manipulative money grubbing wife. It sounds mean on my part a bit, but I have to face the reality. I will no longer stick my neck out first to befriend him or get closer to him. I spoke to him and opened my heart to him about our cold relationship, he said he was to blame a bit in so many words - I want to see action, talk is cheap


It’s weird for me that I grew up as an apathetic schizophrenic, I felt no love, no hatred and no emotions, except anger at some times…I still can’t really feel jealousy, I can’t fit in the normal picture of routine life that the “normal” people call it the way that things go in nature.

It’s normal that bad memories get to your consciousness again when you’re feeling too low and sad…chill up, when the bad thoughts gets in the way just push them aside, they’re just from the past.


Our culture here in the South is to be polite. That’s just the way it is - I kinda like it that way. But don’t let it fool anyone, we are also a bunch of steel magnolias wink:


I don’t forget things like that either. I can move on, but I don’t forget. Your neighbors way over-reacted - it was unnecessary. People are much too sensitive nowadays. When I was growing up (back in the day:), no one would have thought twice about an incident like that.


Sorry you’re having trouble letting go of the hatred. It’s hard when you’ve been mistreated. I have intrusive violent thoughts, and I think it’s from anger that I haven’t been able to let go of.

Sending healing thoughts your way.


Well thank you all for admitting to some of your hatred. It only makes you a better maturer person about it. Maybe you can handle those thoughts easier. Raging about someone or the past just doesn’t feel good. Even though how hard we obsess in it. Remember life is short.

And forgiveness is moving on. But learn your lesson. I can’t say that my anger, hatred will not strike on me again. Its like its almost a given that I will rage about something petty,nonsensical. Choose your thoughts like you’d choose your words.

Polite is a way around it. But a person can only tolerate so much. Especially us as SZ people. Hatred is a moderate stress factor in our lives. Our brains like to revisit. We can’t help that it does most of the time. It just does.

Sometimes doing things that make me happy also can make me rage. That is why in online gaming when a player suddenly leaves out of anger people call it “rage quit”.

Well be happy budget your money wisely and keep it moving.