Hatred for a family member

I hate my brother. I’ve disliked him many times during my life, but within the past few years, since I’ve gotten to be diagnosed, my hatred for him has grown. Like hatred to the point where I legitimately wish that he were gone and I never had to see him again. Like if he died I’d have to go to his funeral and my family would mourn, I’d rather not even have to go through that.

I’ve wanted to hurt him. He’s a big dude, probably pushing 350 pounds, most of it fat. He’s a slob, never keeps things clean unless you berate him. He smokes a lot of weed and drinks a lot of alcohol. Doesn’t have a job, despite not having any real mental problems. He sees a psychiatrist, but he’s still able to go out every weekend and get drunk, doesn’t seem to me like he has any actual issues. He got me into smoking weed when I was 13 which is was caused my psychosis, won’t take any of the responsibility from that. I know he doesn’t like me, even as a kid, whenever I wanted to talk to him or hang out with him he would brush me off because I was annoying.

I have a lot of intrusive thoughts and I feel like he knows when I do. It may be part of the psychosis but also part of the way he behaves whenever I’m around him. We live in the same house but I haven’t spoken to him in probably weeks.

I’ve thought about hurting him, he has probably 150+ pounds on me, but I’m pretty strong from working out and I could do some damage.

The hate I feel isn’t passive, it burns and simmers, I want to lash out and beat his face in. He is a piece of ■■■■, it sounds like I’m blaming him, but in all honesty most of my mental difficulties can be traced in causation back to him.

Has anyone felt such negativity towards one of their family?

Also don’t try and dissuade my feelings towards this ■■■■, I want to hate him, anything less would be unjust.


Not talked to my Family in 42 years, brother if you call him that has been all about himself forever, when young he was always chasing my girlfriends and trying to sleep with them, ( a couple he did) he was a drug addict, stole stuff including my car, hit me in the back hard with a hammer, goes on and on, before my parents passed away I had to speak to him once, he said would see to it, I would get something when they passed as he was in charge of the will. I said I’m sure you will, never did get anything, not that I care so much, never liked my parents anyway, they were not much better.
I don’t consider them Family at all


■■■■ that sounds shitty I’m sorry. I’m lucky that the rest of my family is fine, it’s just my brother and father.

My parents are divorced and I live with my mom, but I recently learned that my father would beat my mother and cheat on her with multiple women. I have some half-brothers and sisters out there I’m probably never going to see.

My mom still treats my brother well, although when she got close to kicking him out he just cried and blamed her and she felt bad and let him stay.

I read some scientific article that each baby takes after one parent more than the other. I’ve always been told I look like my mom, while he looks more like my dad.

Idk, maybe he inherited being more of a piece of ■■■■ from my father.

Anyways, were you ever violent towards your brother?

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When I was growing up I hated my dad. He’s been dead a while. Now that I’m older I’m seeing all the good things he did for me and my brother and sister. He had one fault, and it was a damning fault, but now I can feel some sympathy for him.


No never violent, I’m not violent by nature, will only do so If someone attacks, He did hit me with a hammer but I was only 8 or 9, and droped to the ground when he did it, I stopped talking with him and stayed away from his drug habbit, he’s sober now I heard but still the same ole person


I used to really hate my mom. I always felt that she thought she loved me but wasn’t capable of love. She was a Christian and forced me to go to church which I hated, so maybe that was it. She was also very clingy and controlling, liked to embarass me. Anyways, long story short, I’ve realized I had no reason to hate her and both my parents have really helped me out of a financial jam in the last few years as well as given me a place to live so I’ve come to appreciate both my mom and dad. I still don’t feel like I love them (I haven’t really loved anyone in my life) but I can say I like them now.


I finally cut off one of my sisters who abused me as a child and has done terrible destructive things. Long story short, I finally decided that I don’t have to have a relationship with her! I really don’t. So I don’t! It’s been very liberating. I’m at the point now where I don’t even think about her very often, and when I do it’s painless after a lifetime of her causing pain.

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Think I am somewhat the same, Now that I’m older I can see my mistakes, and as bad as my brother was it was our parents that set the mood and all of us down the wrong road. Will give them the benefit of the doubt that they did not have any type of mental health services back then, I do doubt my father would have ever listened to anyone regardless.
He was the type that no one was allowed to know more or be smarter than him

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Yeah I used to think I was incapable of really loving anyone. And then I thought I fell in love with a girl from my old high school that I talked to a few times. Messaged her recently but she didn’t respond so I unfriended her. I thought about her a lot, like for years. Maybe it is a part of the illness, chemically or psychologically or whatever.

Now I think that I am capable of love, for the right people. I think love and hatred can be close in nature.

But I also feel like I’ve dealt with a lot of shitty people in my life, a lot of good ones too, but the shitty ones have really gotten to me. I have a desire to do violence, more in a controlled nature.

I think when I get better I’ll do some mma.

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Be very aware @catsrcool.
Holding onto extreme hate of family members could be a sign that things are about to unravel.
Before I went batshit crazy and ended up in the psych Hospital for 5 weeks, I had this extreme Hate towards my dear brother and father.
This deep seated hatred later turned into extreme fear and paranoia of them.
Talk it over with your psychiatrist, it could be that you need a med adjustment.
It’s not healthy to wish your brother dead.


Thank you for your words.

I know it is not healthy, it makes me feel terrible. But he doesn’t deserve my love. He is directly responsible for influencing me negatively and he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. I’ll let go of my hate when I don’t have to see or hear him anymore. But for now it is like a protection, it makes me strong.

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I understand that his reluctance to own up to introducing you to weed is frustrating. Sounds like that was irresponsible on his part. But I’m not sure it’s a reason to hate someone, especially if he was young then himself. Neither is his weight.

I also understand hating people irrationally though, especially family members. Sometimes it’s best to just get some distance from those people. Not living with him could help a lot. I know that might not be possible right now though.


I gave you a “like” based on this only.
I don’t agree with your post.

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Yeah I didn’t expect people to agree. I just wanted to put this somewhere.

Sorry if I made anyone feel negatively.

No it’s ok @catsrcool
I would talk to a pro like a psychiatrist or therapist.
The last thing that you need is for the hate to snowball and get bigger.
After all you are having very unhealthy thoughts of hurting your brother.


The thing is, there were many, many times when I’ve wanted to forgive him. I cried when he left to college. When he was drunk and cried on my bed because of his own issues and apologized to me and ask me if I hated him, I told him no, I don’t. I truly wanted to forgive him and to be his brother.

But not anymore. I guess it’s hard to know from the limited information I’ve given, but he isn’t what a brother is to me. I don’t desire to forgive him, nor see him again once we part ways.

Also yeah it is kind of petty making fun of his weight, but if you lived with him you would feel similarly.


I understand your hate, and you have a right to hate, but you seem miserable while your brother is probably happy as a clam.

There is a better way.

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Yeah it’s pretty funny. It’s fine though, I feel pretty good.

Another thing is that he hides his feelings from himself. So he may act happy, but he has a lot of ■■■■■■■■ underneath it all.

Thanks though.

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Thanks for your replies. Mods, you can delete this post.

i have an older half brother who does drugs too. my mom cut him off from the family though. it was probably a hard decision for her. but after reading this post, I wonder what would’ve happened if my mom didn’t.

that’s rough, dude.

Edit: darn. will PM.

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