Normal people be like “did you see the game?” or “I broke up with my boyfriend.”
I be all like “so, eternal oblivion huh, that’s lame.” or “i’m a little upset about the exploding mountains, how do you feel about that.” or “boy, i hope the ground doesn’t open up and swallow me whole and then i die starving and thirsting and shitting all over myself hoping someone will save me.”
Normal people be like “nice hair, looks great, where do you get it cut?” or “Did you see that new movie?”
I be all like “So witches pretty much rule the planet huh guys, that’s weird.” or “does anyone else not like eating the dead bodies of animals? I know you have to sometimes i’m just saying that it’s kind of weird that we eat the dead bodies of other living things that’s all.”
Normal people be like “i’m pregnant!” and others go “congratulations.” while i say “Oh, sorry kid. That’s horrible.” I be all like “I don’t have kids! Praise his might name! Thank you god!” and others go “he doesn’t have kids, that’s to bad.”
Normal people go “gotta pay the bills.” and i’m all like “you can manipulate time in any way at all, muh fuqa you can straight up reverse time and ■■■■!”
Normal people say “did you get some last night?” and i go “feeding the chakras is incredibly important, you must nourish them.”
Normal people go “i love money” and i go “i hate the way money works”.
You get the idea.
