In another thread, @Anna1 asked about overweight women. And it got me thinking about how insane it is that some extra pounds (or kilos) could stand between a person and seeing how awesome that other person is.
And it is insane. If you can’t see a great person through some extra weight, there is something wrong with that. We shouldn’t live in a world where that is such a big issue.
The world is a crazy place. I know alot don’t like those words but it is completely mental. Other people may hide it better than we do but they all suffer under some pretty big delusions. It is just that the more people believe something, the easy it is to hide how absurd it is.
And that made me realize that sz has given me a gift. It gave me perspective. I may never achieve it but I just want to have a good life and people to share it with. Before I used to worry about being famous and rich and making a mark. Now I just shoot for content.
So, with that in mind, if you want to take the time: I thought for a change I’d ask if Sz ever given you anything good?
It gave me an unshakeable belief in God, but I was somewhat religious before this whole mess. I’d go back to semi-religious-but-sane in a heartbeat, over constantly-religious-but-not-entirely-sane.
The saying goes, “if you talk to God, you’re religious. If he talks back, you’re schizophrenic.”
I want to not hear voices I ascribe to being God’s, in my head, anymore. Just want my sane regular life back.
It’s gotten me out of jury duty permanently. I mean if they want a paranoid juror who gets mad if someone looks at him and is prone to wanting too much space then I will show up 8:00 am and vote the car thief guilty the first minute I sit in the jurors box just because the criminal has the same color hair as the guy in the hospital who didn’t like me. I hey want that I’m there man.
@naturallycured Personally, I am not religious but I do not think religion is incredulous. I really like that saying you quoted though. I hope one day you get that life back and can keep the faith that supports you as well.
@roxanna I’ve never had a humorous delusion. I am freaking jealous lol. If you don’t mind I’d love for you to share some of them sometime. (If it wouldn’t be triggering)
@Wave@korieve@bananatto I’ve noticed, that especially compared to the rest of the internet, the people on here are so very nice. I don’t like the idea that you have to suffer to grow. But I think suffering does definitely increase the likelihood you will see the suffering of others.
@Noise@77nick77 It’s kind of like you get slammed in the face with a hammer made out of perspective isn’t it? But would there be any hesitation in the choice to lose that perspective if it also meant you lost the schizophrenia?
I was born with it. so for me, this is how life has always been. So for me I would definitely hesitate. Cause I truly don’t know who I’d be without it.
@Noise I don’t know what I’d do. I appreciate the perspective it has given me. I like that I stopped chasing things that don’t matter. But it can really hurt sometimes. I see people on TV or walking outside and I would like that.
I don’t mean to disagree with you. But from the little we’ve spoken, I think you would be okay without it. I don’t think you would lose yourself if you lost the sz. Maybe you’d be a little less complex as a person but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe you’d even have found the same perspective only in a different manner.
@Wave@bananatto I just pictured all of us giving Bananatto a party with a cake which said ‘Happy 1 Year Anniversary’ on it lol. It is a little odd since I have absolutely no idea what any of you look like lol.
If I had gotten the chance to live without sz. I’m talking like turn back time and relive everything. I would have been a completely different person. No abuse. No pain. No having to grow up so fast. But who would I be??
I feel like perhaps I am better because of my condition. I see angles that others never consider and I rarely judge. But I feel that I wouldn’t have those if I was well.
If someone cured me right now I think I would be unhappy. Because I’ve accepted myself for who I am. I know it makes life difficult. But I must live with it.
It’s ok to wish for health but for me dwelling on a cure isn’t healthy. I wished for so long to be normal. But there’s not a normal. But I learned that I can always work to improve.
Everything has a silver lining sometimes it’s just hard to see.