Or implied, hinted that they would end their life, if you leave a relationship with them,?
How did you react, what did you do?
This hasn’t necessarily happened to me but just curious.
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I said that once to one lady. She was a psychology major, and she was like hmm I think your just looking for attention. Lol
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I told an ex gf that one time many years ago in a suicide note that I was going to kill myself because she was leaving me. The catch was that she was not leaving me at the time. I only thought she was.
I have joked that I would do that if they did start a relationship with me a couple times.
TW - descriptions of narcissistic abuse, manipulation, rape.
Yes someone has done this to me, and under UK law it is considered to be a form of ‘coercive control’ which is illegal. It is manipulative and abusive.
My ex used this to manipulate me, so that instead of telling her to ■■■■ off home, I would let her in to my flat, or sit with her until she felt better. She would only declare feeling better when I had forgiven her and reassured her that I loved her etc. This way she could get away with all of her bad behaviours and I would be forced to forgive her and promise to not leave the relationship. It was very manipulative and I was very disturbed by it.
There is an element of sadness in what she did, because I don’t doubt that her suicidal feelings were real. But the manipulation was real too, and she knowingly forced me to do things I didn’t want to do. Yes she was desperate, but that didn’t make it ok for her to control me.
I came across some advice from “out of the fog” and “how to stop walking on eggshells”. They suggest to never speak or act purely from a place of fear, obligation, or guilt. I learned to say this: “I’m sorry you are feeling sad but I don’t make good decisions when I’m being made to feel guilty”. “Let’s talk about this in the morning”. “I tired now and I need some time to process this”.
She did not respect my boundaries and kept pressuring me, to forgive and commit. She would say things like “I won’t be able to sleep until this is resolved”. “I’ll need to take more medications and might accidentally overdose”. Or she would make direct threats of other consequences.
I tried putting firm boundaries in place, but she would ignore them. One time she literally broke down my front door in the middle of the night and raped me. When I tried to break up with her she pretended she was pregnant.
The only thing that worked to improve her behaviour was to cut off contact. I gave her plenty of warnings; “if you don’t respect my boundaries then our relationship will be over”. Of course she didn’t respect them at all, so I had to end it. Even though I warned her, ending the relationship came at a great cost to me because she retaliated. She knew the things I am insecure about and she used that knowledge to hurt me. She also made up stories about me.
I’m not saying everyone with suicidal thoughts is going to act as badly as this, but it is a huge red flag. Ultimately, this type of manipulation has the effect of making you responsible. My advice to anyone experiencing these threats, is that You are not responsible for a suicidal person’s survival.
There are a number of charities specialising in narcissistic abuse, which includes manipulative threats. If you are in too deep, get some help.
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I’m so sorry you went through that. That sounds very weary and stressful.
You did the right thing to cut contact. I hope you don’t feel guilty because you have the right to do that
I have a problem where people are told my boundaries, they cross them and when I remind them of this they say I don’t care because I don’t compromise with them.!
It’s like looking out for myself first is bad 
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Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. My stepdad threatened it all the time during the divorce, I didn’t care. It’s not my responsibility to keep him alive.
He’s 100% anti mask and anti vax now, he makes fun of me every time I wear a mask and if I say anything back to him he’ll rage and make a scene anywhere we are. He does that, you disagree with him and he starts yelling. Glad I don’t have to live with him anymore.
As far as significant others go, I think the best policy is to just completely block them or cut them off and ignore all communication. If they can’t respect that, maybe a restraining order would help.
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Ex did that to me. I stayed with her much longer than I should of. Should of seen it for what it was worth.
Same Ex raised her hand at me. It was then that I finally left. She found another sucker to marry, like real quick.
It’s manipulative.
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My ex husband said he would kill himself if I left. It took a long time to leave. He is doing fine now and we are good friends. It took him a while to get over the hurt and the depression but over all he’s happier and better off now.
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Thank you Mae 
I did feel guilty but I knew I shouldn’t so it made me angry instead. But then I wasn’t allowed to be angry either! Grr.
It sounds like you’ve also been experiencing some boundary violations. For those people to turn your boundaries around on you and make you think you’re bad or in the wrong seems very unfair. It’s natural to question if you are a bad person when people push those ideas into your head, but don’t take it to heart. You’re a good egg.
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I would just ignore them if they said that to me it’s very childish thing to say but at the same time I have a friend whos boyfriend did actually kill himself because she left him so I dunno thats tough
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I’ve had women say they love me and give me compliments and normal stuff but nothing like that, and if they did I would be very concerned, that suggests they are not emotionally stable or happy with themselves, that they need me to give their life meaning.
If an ex had said she would kill herself if I left her it would probably make me want to leave her, not because I want her to kill herself, but because I don’t want someone that clingy or emotionally unstable.
I don’t know how I would handle it, probably let her down easy and tell her I’ll be there to help her but she should probably get a therapist to work on her issues. I wouldn’t cut her off cold, but I would probably end the relationship and slowly distance myself, help her ween herself off me if you will. I wouldn’t want to see her hurt herself.
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