Has anyone else on this forum ever (TW suicide)

DX'd - Sz/SzA
#22

Hmm.

Suicide.

Movies Love It.

Songs Love It.

Love Loves It.

Pain Loves It.

And Nothingness Loves It.

I Once Tried. One Could Say It Was Passive. In A Physical Sense. Passively Aggressive. Perhaps. I Emptied An Almost Full Bottle Of Advil In My Palm And Stared At It In The Darkness. Looked Up Through The Ceiling And Spoke To My Personal Beliefs. Myself?. Something Else?. Up There?. Down There?. Nowhere?. All Around?.

I Once Had A Hallucination Of The Grim Reaper. He Once Said To Me, ‘If I Cry, You Die’.

I Stood Alone In My Room Perplexed. I Repeated What He Said And Was Clueless. . .

Years Later Learned That He’s Made Of Bones And No Flesh. So…, No Flesh. No Tear Ducts. OH HAHA!, DEAD BONE SKELETON MAN, YOU CAN’T CRY (!!!).

N e Hoo.

Me Alone, 3:00 a.m. A Palm Full Of Pills. And Me Smiling At The Ceiling.

I Threw The Pills Down My Throat And Stopped Thinking Instantly. . .

After I Swallowed And Felt Them Reach My Belly, I Slowly Looked Around And Realized That There Was No Going Back. And Slightly…, Jus Slightly…, Slightly Regretted It. (Sarcasm). Then Gave My Hopes, Wishes, Dreams, And The Rest Of My Love To The Ceiling.

Slept On The Couch And Woke Up Feeling Nothing. . .

The Blinds Were Open.

The Sunlight Beaming Gently Through. And Said Thank You To The Ceiling And Smiled. . . . . . .

P.s. Hope, Trust, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Eternal Peace!.

#23

If you are feeling suicidal or having a mental health crisis, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.

You can also call a crisis intervention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries. You do not need to be actively suicidal to benefit from a crisis hotline.

International crisis hotlines:

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

Crisis hotlines in the U.S.:

https://afsp.org/find-support/

More resources:

2 Likes
#24

WOW

No Words Needed

#25

I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry. I’m okay.

1 Like
#26

Hmm…,

Did You Like My Story @rocket (?).

It’s Sad I Know… . … :frowning:

P.s. Hope, Trust, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Eternal Peace!.

#27

Well, they are there if you need them.

1 Like
#28

3 suicide attempts. Survived all 3. Sometimes I wish I died from it, but in a way I’m glad I’m alive.

#29

I’ve made a couple of attempts. At the moment my depression is quite bad, and i am thinking about it, and do have an idea of what i could do, and actually have the means to do it if i wanted right now…however, i don’t want to cause my partner heart ache. He’s already gone through it once, i can’t do it to him again.

#30

OD’ed and was in a coma and ventilated for 2 days. Then when I awoke, it was off to the psych unit.

#31

MY depression lasts for a couple of years and yes I have tried to end it, more than once. did a lot of body damage last time and it was very painful for a year or so after

1 Like
#32

Yes on 15th March 2020 I took an overdose of Zopiclone with a bottle of red wine.

Ended up in the general hospital.

Luckily my case manager was around the next day, and I had the home treatment crisis team instead of being hospitalised in a psych ward.

I wish it had worked, but things are going well at the moment with my work and stuff, which none of this would have happened if I had died then

Must upset my mother as my father killed himself when I was 2 years old

#33

I had two attempts after I found out I couldn’t be an architect anymore…tried to work and each time I ended up trying to take my life…that’s why I don’t work now…too afraid of failing…

1 Like
#34

Tbh, it always is in the back of my mind. It’s not a strong feeling at all. I don’t want to commit suicide but I have a vague fear of it happening. About 10% of the time that’s all it is, a vague fear I could do it, But most of the time I forget all about it.

2 Likes
#35

I’ve been committed to the hospital 4 times for suicidal intentions/attempts.

#36

Yes, I attempted once and very obviously it didn’t work thank goodness… It sounds like you’re doing a lot better than you were

#37

I carried a razor blade in my wallet for a couple of years. It was like an escape hatch for me, if my life ever became intolerable.

1 Like
#38

I used to be bloody terrible with pills. Forever taking overdoses (usually when pissed). I got quite a reputation for turning up in A+E for a while.

Its why for years ive been on a weekly script.

I suppose you could say i grew out of it, plus a nice dose of AP in the arm lol.

1 Like
#39

When I was full blown psychotic, I can’t even remember the whole context of the experience on that day. But I do remember that it was about me continuing with the tasks set by the voice which I found impossible to succeed in or else opt to die. I decided to attempt suicide. It is complicated to explain why I did that and as I said, I don’t even remember all the details of that day.

#40

Yes I have . I still have thoughts… I won’t do it though.

1 Like
#41

Sorry to hear how much people have been through.

I get suicidal ideation too, in fact, I’m going through a spell right now.

It really does suck life out of you.