Hard time being assertive

Is it just me or does everyone here have trouble

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I used to have a hard time being assertive too,

It just takes practice.

If you know a situation is going to arise you can always practice in the mirror what you are going to say.

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@anon84898315 it really depends on the day. I have sza, ptsd and gad. Sometimes, when I feel well, I’m the person that I’m most proud of these days.

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I also have a form of anxiety I have social anxiety

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dont be afraid to say no

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I have agoraphobia. I don’t leave home much because of this. I like to be with someone I trust when I do leave home.

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I have agoraphobia also, I’m the same way.

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@wave I also don’t like to have people I don’t trust in my home. Is that agoraphobia, too?

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I’m the same way too @JustTrish.
I don’t like strangers coming into my home.

I don’t think it’s agoraphobia but it sounds like it’s more related to paranoia and anxiety.

@Wave I feel you. I had no idea there was someone like me.

Oh, boy, do I get paranoid and anxious.

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Me too, your not alone @JustTrish.

There are plenty of others out there like us too.

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I hear you you on the paranoia and anxiety. I don’t really meet new people and I have hard time with conflict. I just pull into my own mind and shell during the conflict

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I have big trouble being assertive. There has been a lot of times where if I had just spoke up and explained what was going on with me I could have affected a situation for the better for me. For instance, one time when I was in the army me and my friend were looking for the address of this building where I needed to process out of the army. The address was something like 4310, and the numbers we were seeing on the buildings were like - 4306, 4308, and so on. We decided the right building had to be close by, so my friend let me out there, even though we hadn’t seen 4310 yet. As it turned out, the correct building was like a mile away. I wondered around in the rain searching for it for at least an hour. I was very late for my appointment, and the receptionist was really angry at me for being this late. She told me I had to reschedule another appointment. We were going to the field, and they were going to have to take me to my appointment from the field in a jeep. The first sergeant was also mad, and probably could have deflected a lot of his anger if I had just explained what had happened. If I had just explained what happened to that receptionist she might have let me get that appointment that very day. Instead, I hung my head like an idiot. Seems kind of masochistic.

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Welcome back @crimby!

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Thank you. I still have very limited access to the internet. I’m trying to get a connection to the internet in my apartment. Right now I am at the clubhouse. I can take my computer to near the clubhouse and get Wi Fi from there, but I need to be careful, because Watts is the kind of town where someone might mess with you if they see you operating a computer out in public.

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I have trouble not being assertive. If I get flak from someone in public or that I’m trying to work with on whatever, I will push HARD. You are your own best advocate. Nobody else will do it for you, at least not 100% of the time. Gotta stand up for yourself, or risk being a doormat for the world. Some folks will get pissed off at you, some will respect you. Take the good and leave the rest.

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If you live in the UK they could probably put you to see an occupational therapist to give you some help on that. I was offered it when I saw an OT, but she said from talking to me that I am fine.

I find being assertive very difficult.

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I’ve been looking up lot about assertive personalities. It’s the fruit of hard work and effort. At least that’s what this article and my therapist say.

I find it hard being assertive sometimes. I even went on a course for it but got too anxious to stay some of the people were so aggressive there as well