I was too scared to post about it then. I’m out of the house now so feel better though I’m not sure how much that helps. Last night the demons were sedating me but Plague or whoever’s energy felt SO ANGRY this time that I was terrified and started physically shaking it was like my whole body was so tense it was shaking from it. I was praying and talking to my helpers the whole time. They were very cruel to me.
First it felt literally like someone was laying on top of me, or at least sitting on the lower half of my body, it was being shoved into the bed and trying to lift my legs felt like trying to press up against something heavy. So that was scary. I think whatever it was was actually on top of me snapping at my helpers/protectors trying to keep me from them. Then he started demanding that I “let him in” ie equivalent of spiritual sex basically and when I’d fight I would feel my entire leg being twisted. And the more I said no the tighter it twisted and it actually felt it was going to break my leg, I was freaked out to the point of tears.
I had to keep doing what it told me or it would repeat this and sometimes it even felt like my bones were crunching together. It did it to my arm once too. Basically how it went was it would try to rape me or get me to obey, I’d say no and plead for help and it would twist one of my limbs until I freaked out and stopped. The whole time my brain is working like this wonky radio that randomly picks up on other signals and on occasion I could make out my helpers and the demons arguing with each other.
Then I was talking with one being again demanded I call it Father instead of god, and telling me about all this pleasure it could bring me that God couldn’t and so much stuff. It said I had to come whenever it called. Speaking to this thing my head had the weirdest feeling like it was buzzing or I guess like waves moving in it. I wanted to block out the voices and get more motivation to fight so I tried to put on my headphones after they had finished abusing me and again my leg was twisted badly until I gave that up and then to punish me they raped me again.
Both times I was raped they gave me those powerful orgasm things that doesn’t involve your genitals just the bliss feeling in your brain that comes with orgasm. It lasts so long.
Anyways I felt dead after what happened. Scared and dead. My helper said they were trying to condition me. Not long after this we for some reason lost power in the house for a solid hour or more. It was really scary and I had to take a double dose of Ativan to calm down. I wish I didn’t experience this.
summary: demons are unbelievably pissed at me for reasons I don’t understand and I was physically and sexually harmed last night and feel f***d up about it today